you and me

you and me

A Poem by writ rajat
"

yoooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

"
you and me 
just like moon and cloud,
your beauty is your moonlight,,
my wealth is monsoon,
your eyes is disastrous
because whenever you see me ,
it flood my world
with beauty and moon juice,
with salty food of love,
the love may not in the love of  love,
may not in love of love

© 2017 writ rajat


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Reviews

Despite a grammatical error or two, the concept of your message is well-stated & original. You've selected imaginative comparisons to show how it feels, which is very relatable for most people. Such expressions as "salty food" & "moon juice" are quite provocative, as far as conjuring up new ideas about the feelings. I'm not sure what the last 2 lines mean, but it's an interesting idea.

Line 5: "your eyes is" . . . should be "are"
Line 7: "it flood" . . . should be "floods"

Posted 7 Years Ago


writ rajat

7 Years Ago

Thanks dear I will correct it
Very nice, I loved the last lines and moon juice. beautifully written

Posted 7 Years Ago


"Your beauty if your moonlight." This was such a beautiful sentiment. It caught me right away.

Posted 7 Years Ago


So sweet and honest :) I really like the phrase "moon juice". Wonderful imagery!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Love in all.
very well written :)
Keep up, also to mention-
because whenever you see me ,
it flood my world
with beauty and moon juice,
with salty food of love,
the love may not in the love of love,
YOU HAVE JUST NAILED THIS PIECE WITH THESE LINES

Posted 7 Years Ago


writ rajat

7 Years Ago

Thanks you apoorva

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166 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 30, 2017
Last Updated on April 30, 2017
Tags: love

Author

writ rajat
writ rajat

patna, bihar, India



About
I study in St.xaviers college more..

Writing
Tension Tension

A Poem by writ rajat