my solution...departure

"i don't deserve to be happy...they do"

last night i had a thought

life hit me

i was in denial but i can't stand it any longer

i was so blind

or stupid

just when you think your happy...everything comes down

how could i have not seen it

he was there the whole time

for me

and i was there for him

it was him the whole time

the one who made me come back to life when i was dead

he always made me feel better than anything i could ever be

he was the one who made me laugh when i wan't to cry

he held my hand when i was falling

he wiped the tears away and gave me warmth

he was my gaurdian angel

and i hurt him

i cut him deep

and for that i should cut myself even deeper

im torn into two

while i was sufering for the man he was sufuring with me

and now that i have the man...he's still sufering

and he doesn't deserve this

he deserves better than a wound

he deserves to be loved

i wasn't preapared for this

for the karma

i do feel for him...

i need him

i need them both

but it's not fair

they don't deserve this

and so i should...

leave.

 

Author's Note

this wans't intended to be a poem...but to just let everything out