* BLEEDING EYES *

There they are

not so far

 

Waiting for me

to see my eyes bleed

 

Waiting to see me suffer

all that does is make me tougher

 

Waiting to see me scared

and all they do is stare

 

Waiting to see me cry

because of all there lies

 

Waiting to see me depressed

so they can feel there best

 

Waiting to see me fail

so they can just bail

 

That's why.....

 

There they are

not so far

 

Waiting for me

to see my eyes bleed

Author's Note

PLEASE IGNORE GRAMMER!

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

So you say to ignore the grammar but there is only one mistake (though you make it twice) that's such an easy fix I had to point it out ;-)

"There" in stanzas 5 and 6 should be "their". See wasn't that quick and painless?

Now to my review... Even though most of the poem didn't particularly strike me (I'd say because the rhyme is a bit simple for my taste), I really really like "There they are / not so far / Waiting for me / to see my eyes bleed" because there are different ways to read it. Are they waiting for you because they want to see your eyes bleed, or are they waiting for you to see your eyes bleeding yourself? Is it them or you who see the blood? Or Both? I love to contemplate lines with multiple meanings. Cool picture too, it drew me to read it.

Have a nice day!

[GC]

Something as simple as just changing the color for certain words goes such a long way.
Plus, this poem reads like a song with musical interludes in between every two lines.
Anyway, I'm sure you know this but let the haters hate. You write great.

[Hviske]

wow .i know who this is about... good job