skin and bones

I almost dropped out of college last year after relapsing to an eating disorder and a brief but horrible plague of suicidal thoughts. I wrote this poem for a school psychologist, who saved my life.

In a clean and well-lit place

straight from the mind

of Hemingway.

There I sat,

inside my mind

when I let my metal spring unwind.

And I kept the bomb behind my lips:

an explosive

"am I cut out for this?"

and so pristine

in the light of day,

the room gave back the darkness I sent away.

Lost in a forest 

I see for the trees

and sex

and pills

and calories

and memories of darker days

that, at one time,

I let decay.

If I take root, it will strangle me

I'll meet my end

under this canopy

that shades my skin

and pales my face

and hides the clean and well-lit place.

Am I only who I am

with Xanax®, Ritalin®, Citalopram?

I was beginning to believe that it was all true

and then...

there was you.

Author's Note

this is my favorite poem that I've ever written, but it's a little different every time I write it. I'm never sure how to divide up the lines or if there should even be stanzas at all. What do you think? (also any constructive criticism is always welcome)

Reviews

[Mel Lisa]

very nice. I like the stanza option.
Each section flows and the breaks give readers a moment to think, to let each moment sink in.
It is more intimate and personal as if your speaking directly to us, taking us on your journey, for this particular topic...stanza works well.
I am happy you were able to over come your struggles. A lot of us can surely relate to this as well.
Good job:)

[serpentine]

Thank you for the input! I thought I liked this format pretty well, but then again I'm always pretty bad at judging my own pieces, especially ones I put this much time into hahah