II.

      Donny slammed his truck door closed and sat alone in silence. The inside of the cab smelled like oil and cigarettes, and the floor of the passenger seat was hidden under a build-up of food wrappers and paper. The truck was a dull brown color, but had been rumored to be red before he’d bought it.

      There was a heavy throbbing behind his right eye that needed to ease itself before he could drive. He leaned over the passenger seat and dug around on the floor, sifting through garbage for a bottle of aspirin he half-remembered throwing down. His fingers found the bottle and grasped it eagerly, but they were robbed of the satisfying rattle of tiny pills.

      “Goddamnit!” He tossed the empty bottle against the passenger-side window with an angry growl and turned the ignition, driving out of the lot with his fist pushing against his right eye. A cloud of dust followed him briefly on the empty road, settling down upon the broken pavement.

      He turned right at the light on Lancaster St. and quickly pulled a U-turn. The way home was still new to him. For years he'd rented the first floor of a small duplex - 600 square feet with a single bedroom that he wasn't welcome in anymore. Months of dodging calls for rent had soured the owners against him. He waited for a passing truck and turned right again, following the road out of town.

      He was occupying some space nearby at the Dual-Pine Mobile Home Park, in his father's 16-ft Airstream trailer for as long as his mother's patience would last. She hadn't exactly agreed to his taking the trailer, but the thing was mostly his anyways, at least according to him.

      He pulled into Dual-Pine and navigated the truck around the maze of trailers. Most of them were missing tires or had porches built around them. There were a only few maintained trailers scattered among the park. Donny pitied them for thinking this was anything other than permanent. There were no gravel or paved roads in the park, just a string of desire lines cut into the long grass that lead around the rows of steel mobile homes.

      He made the final turn and saw a powder blue car parked nearby, and a shape leaning against his father's trailer, hidden in the beams of the truck headlights. As he approached, the shape took on the form of a thin woman with her arms crossed, one leg bent and pushed against the side of the trailer. It was Crystal, Jimmy’s girlfriend. Her hair was long and stringy; a mixture of blonde and brunette hair fighting for dominance that made it impossible to tell which one belonged. She used to be made up well, but she’d grown lazy, or just stopped caring. As he approached, he had one thought: Please not tonight.

      Crystal walked over toward the driver’s side and waited as Donny pulled into the lot. He turned off the ignition and paused a moment, staring out the window with the hope that she’d been in his imagination. He sighed loudly and opened the door, feeling the damp air against his skin that covered him in a blanket of cold he was not yet prepared for. The sounds of barking park dogs mixed with the noise of televisions and drunken arguments coming out of some of the trailers.

      “Hi Donny. Long time, no see.” Her arms were crossed, holding herself against the cold. She was wearing a thin shirt and no jacket, making him wonder how long she’d been waiting for him.

      “Hey Crystal.” He said, putting his hand back to his throbbing forehead. He was eyeing the door to his trailer with an alcoholic’s longing, silently praying that her visit would be quick and painless. She looked around anxiously, twisting a ring on her right hand.

      “How’s your mom?” she asked. “She doing alright?”

      “Yeah, last I knew.” Donny said. He hadn’t talked with his mother a month, keeping his distance to avoid having to return the trailer. It was impossible to call her without there being an argument. He knew his mother didn’t care for him, and the feeling was mutual.

      His mind began to race with the different reasons why she would be out in the pitch dark of night just to talk with him, and his thoughts went back to Jimmy.

“Is...is everything alright?” he asked. “Is Jimmy alright?” Crystal kicked the dirt a bit, gathering the courage for what she came to say.

      “No, not really.” Her voice cracked and she dropped her face. It had aged some since the last time he’d seen her. “It’s been over a year and he’s not getting much better.”

      “Yeah...I’ve...been meaning to call.” His jaw clenched as he spoke; the pain in his head forced his words out in slow, angry spills. Damn you Jimmy, he thought.

      “Meaning to call?” Her face fell, covered by the night. Donny was puzzled, unsure of what to say. A dull pain crawled up through his stomach as he waited in silence. The muffled sound of broken glass could be heard nearby, followed by woman’s high pitched shrieking.

      “You son of a b***h! You b*****d! Get the hell out of my house!” A door swung open from the neighboring trailer and a thin bald man rushed out. He had black lightning bolts tattooed on either side of his head, acting like arrows pointing him in the direction of a red station wagon. He jumped in and rolled down the window.

      “Lose my number w***e!” yelled the man, and he sped away, sliding the tires on the wet grass. Lights were turning on inside some of the campers; eyes peeked around drawn curtains to try and pretend they weren’t all eavesdropping.

      “Wow.” said Crystal sullenly. “Nice place you found here.” Donny looked up quickly and glared at her.

      “Right, ‘cause you’re doing any better, running around Jimmy’s house like you own the place. You don’t judge me. I didn’t ask you here, so feel free to go the hell away!” A year of pain and bitterness swam up to the surface and mixed with the pounding in his head, creating a vitriolic surge behind his words. Crystal stepped back as if Donny was about to slap her. She threw her hands down and moved to leave, but turned and faced him with rage in her eyes.

      “You know what a*****e?” she yelled. “I’m the one person taking care of him. No one is helping us. No one comes around. Not his son, not his friends, no one! I thought if anything, you’d be there for him, seein’ as you guys were so close. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? You’re nothing but a coward.”

      She looked at him coldly. He knew she hated him even if she wouldn’t admit it. She hated him because he made it out intact. Sure, he was roughed up, quicker to anger, headaches a constant problem. But he was conscious, and he was independent, thank God. Jimmy relied wholly on her, and the responsibility weighed her down.

      At that moment, Donny didn’t care. He’d lost his sympathy for the night. He just stared at her, hating her with every fiber of his being. She was right--he was a coward. His face felt hot with anger for the second time that night and the throbbing pain in his head made it hard to stand straight.

      “She wasn’t the first,” he said at last. “Not even close.” There was a cold silence as his words hit their mark. Crystal tried to speak, but whatever she wanted to say stopped in her throat. She looked at him with years of sadness, and for a minute, Donny thought she seemed more broken than he was. His anger passed as he saw what he’d done.

      “Look,” he started. “I’m sorry, okay. I just…”

      “F**k You!” she screamed at him, slamming her palm on the hood of her car. “You b*****d. You f*****g b*****d!” She opened the door and slid behind the wheel in one solid motion, gunning the engine but not moving. She seemed to forget the car needed to be shifted into drive.

      I really don’t need this s**t today, he thought. He ducked down and looked into the window. Crystal was crying and shaking the wheel like she wanted it to break off.

      “C’mon Cris.” He said, trying to calm her down. She looked at him and gave him the finger.

“Fine!” he yelled, backing away from the car. “What did you expect, huh? You knew who he was. What the hell did you stay with him for?”

      She shifted into drive and hit the accelerator. The curtains moved behind his neighbor’s window, betraying their curiosity.

      “F*****g b***h.” he said to himself. He turned to go inside but turned too quickly, catching the toe of his boot against a protruding rock. He fell front-first into the overgrowth with a loud groan as he felt something twist. He got up and coughed, heaving loudly into the bushes. An echo of laughter could be heard behind fluttering curtains.

      Show’s over, he thought as he brushed off wet hay from his pants. Pain erupted from his ankle as he walked, taking focus away from his throbbing head.

      “F*****g perfect.” He said to himself, and limped toward the trailer.