Fall to Pieces (The Longest Goodbye)

Take a wild guess. A special dedication to all of those who....this applies to.

Fall to pieces (The Longest Goodbye)

October 4, 2011-October 8, 2011

Unseeing eyes couldn't foretell

Blinded by the skies above

 the horizon afar, the ground below,

Little pieces here and there

Scattered about, within and throughout

Flimsy like scraps of paper, of

Falling leaves in autumn

In the wind you can hear them rustle

And scurry, these puzzle pieces

Thrown to the wind.

 

First there was you, a faulty set up

Not within a right mind, forgo that what erupts

Claws reaching in, something to escape

Too weak to tell, but too strong a voice

A slow ride in, a long ride back

The words carved out, a piece of me

Simply wanting something lacked,

And to remember me by…

 

And then there was you, a future bold

Kept me close, and felt so cold

Mendacities abounding, silent sounding

Duplicity, I had found

Oh merciless arrogance, how you

Worked and toiled, eroding away

A piece of me every night and day

So then I walked continued my journey

Down on Main Street, I shuffled

thus duplicity, reaffirming.

 

So then there was you, charismatic fool

With lightening eyes and

Dashing skies, of dazzling talents that

Created a world of wandering thought,

drive down the long road ahead where

I was whole again, yet

Within crinkled sheets inscribed

Proof of yet another false guy

By thee by, another goodbye

Another piece spent, another prize went

Duplicity strikes again.

 

Then…there was you

A starlit canopy within my heaven

A dream so intense that I thought I may

Have found the love of my life, yet

The years drawn out like a solid black line

Into the opposite direction.

We climbed each mountain out of breath

Fought until there was nothing left

We love dear love, eternities fold

And thus my savior, never show

But alas the remittance of debts

Remain unclosed.

Carry with us, each burden on backs

Each with a piece of each other

Stapled to the knapsack.

 

And then there was you, and here I am again

Thrust headfirst into a longing friend

So overdue this dream, so unreal

The consequence, beguiled yet again.

A flitted torrid darkness I ignored

All too frequent the prophets had warned

But I remained tangled, determined

To be with you

Yet here we are and we are yet again

Duplicity being my best friend

Of grueling darkness, a shadow awaits

I am left to the mercy of my fate

Another piece gone, another piece left

Pouring out my lifeline, blood red, bereft

 

And lo,

I lost the will to drive once more

Into the arms of 'forevermore'

 

Blinded sight couldn’t dispel

The fog rolling through the skies above

 the horizon afar, the ground below,

Little pieces here and there

Scattered about, thrown like confetti

Flimsy like the film from wrappers, of

Falling leaves in autumn

In the wind you can hear them rustle

And scurry, these puzzle pieces

Still bleeding from my broken modest wishes.

Author's Note

I realize that there are grammatical mistakes..bold faced words have significant meaning and they stay. Otherwise, let me know what you think otherwise. Had this in my head, couldn't get it out. Had a bit of reprieve and decided to share. The end totally needs work I think...last stanza, last line or two. Doesn't feel right...any thoughts?

Reviews

[Aramey]

I think it's great, it gave me goosebumps in a good way :) The writing is balanced. It is clear and concise as well as vivid with emotion and imagination. I think the end is well written, what may seem just not right to you is that at the end of it, there's only one word and that's not your general style. That doesn't mean it isn't good, because frankly I think it is. Thank you for sharing :)

[Aly Jones]

This is cool. The imaginary in it is amazing. :)

[Candice.Renee]

with every encounter that we face on this Earth either we gain or lose pieces of ourselves in the shuffle towards happiness... in many cases we lose more than we gain, however i think we lose more in order to be ready to accept whats to come to us in the future. very nice touch with the picture as well it fit perfectly. you are gifted indeed.

[Your Perfect Disaster]

I loved it! It really spoke to me!

[InkSlinger]

Can't see where you need to make any changes... well penned!
I liked the heart on the sleeve approach, shows a softer vulnerable side of your writing style..

[Penlady]

animal crackers in my soup, the scene speaks of witches brew, the frenzy of the activity in the many scenarios, reminds of a cold windswept night. The cold penetrates throughout because no matter how hard one tried the frenzy and chaos seems to remain. Emotionall exhaustion explained perfectly....change what you will as the author but I think you need change nothing...it is a spellbinding romp..

[Larry Dyson]

Little animal cracker shaped pieces, here and there

Mindful of my life shaped puzzle...

Scattered about, tossed like confetti

Flimsy, silvery like the film from wrappers,

of chewing gum.

[Larry Dyson]

left in ,
bereft in Duplicity ..
still bleeding from My broken modest wishes...