Entrenched

very sullen mood

Entrenched

 

Such a sad beauty it is;

tears shed that go unnoticed-

easily concealed with a quick swipe of palm.

Despite the shadow,

those lonely drops trace

the contours of skin, wiped across,

are dry in a touch.

The remnants remain

like torn pages in a book

whose chapters

lead to the present.

The words unrecorded,

written with every falling head.

Eyes descend,

tracing cracks in concrete-

sidestepping, stumbling,

falling yet again

head first into the sand.

Buried to the neck

crows circle overhead;

vultures feast

slowly plucking away

at an empty shell.

Bone whitened by the sun

whose rays of hope

slighted the clouds that

part it.

Upon wings it is carried

soaring off in whispers 

to others

who have yet to fall.  

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A sullen mood indeed cast upon the reader. A powerful write from a pro...:)............

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I have to say this is down right depressive...the way you unfold the read for the reader...it just keeps adding coal to the fire...but I'm sure that's the intended meaning of it all...I liked the way you end this with --- what others can get from their own battles...leaves an imprint in the mind...

[Wynter Ignatius]

As the line goes from Francis Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle by Nirvana "I miss the comfort in being sad." This line resonates with me as it is basically my theme to life, even as I try to change it.

We all have these moments where weakness is easier to obfuscate than reveal or explain to those that hurt us or don't understand. I've been empty, picked apart by words and lack of actions or even concern.

I've wrote similar pieces as most yet you capture it better than I even. You have a knack for imagery I wish I captured more, but then again I am a raw writer that loves the disjointed nature of my own chaotic mind and soul.

[Simone]

whoa. your a fantastic writer. i hope i can one day write a piece as beautiful as this. seriously.

[Larry Dyson]

all the symptoms of neglect and betrayal...being used and discarded...many feelings those of us who were abused still feel at times..that memory of a empty shell...a true group of friends is all that is needed to restore this one to service...serving others to greater good.very appropoe choosing of words.wonderful metaphor created.

[Everett DeValle]

I really Loved this poem...it is really deep and meaningful.

[Nick.B]

Interesting poem, it leaves you with that "dark" taste after you've done reading, it shows the loneliness and desperation of a person very well...great job, loving the dark stuff...and you have an interesting style