The Cat & Man Conversations

A story about heartbreak, what could have been, and a little self-reflection and honesty with myself. I've been doing these stories whenever I'm down, but hopefully it makes sense.

The man sat on the edge of the cliff, his feet dangling dangerously over. He sighed and looked into the sky. Not a single star was visible tonight which was admittedly rather poetic and apt considering how alone he felt.

"Oh boy, it's that time again,isn't it?" He heard a voice behind him. He turned around and saw the cat sitting on its hind legs, head cocked to the left, it's emerald eyes gazing at him with scrutiny.

The cat was different from what he had remembered. It's fur was still jet black, but the sheen from the fur was not as prominent as it once was. In fact there were several strands of silver grey fur that shone under the moonlight.

"You look different," said the man. "You seem older." That cat rolled its eyes.

"Of course I'm older. Did you think I would not age?" The man cracked a smile.

"Well I had always assumed you were like a God-" but he was cut off mid-sentence as the cat waved it's paw dismissively. "Whatever or whoever I am doesn't matter, we are here, and you know why we are here. Tell me about her."

The man smiled. It was hard to keep anything from the cat, impossible in fact. He struggled with his thoughts, it was hard trying to start, where does one start with such a story? Looking down the man quietly asked, "Do you think I'm boring?"

The cat stared at him for a moment before walking over, it's feet silent in the red color dirt of the mountain. "No," it said simply. "That's not the question you should be asking. That's not the question you want to ask."

As always the cat was right. "Why does she find me boring?" The cat smiled at that question, assuming cats could smile. "To sum it up? She does not know the real you."

"But that was the real me, every minute I was with her was the real me," protested the man. "Are you sure?" Asked the cat. "Think of how you interact with your girl friends. You're so funny, easygoing, witty, none of them ever leave without a smile on their face or the memory of something funny you might have said or done."

"If you ask me," continued the cat, "THAT'S the real you. Not this quiet, brooding guy trying to pass off as someone who couldn't give two s***s. When it comes to matters of the heart, you do give a s**t. You give ten s***s more than anyone else, why on earth would you want to hide any of that?"

"Because that makes me desperate!" Cried the man. "It's like too much for a first date!" The cat sprang forward knocking into the man, it's claws came out inches away from his face. "And who do you suppose set the rules on dating?"

The man breathed very slowly, showing the razor sharp claws an incredible amount of respect. The cat retracted its claws, jumped off the man and started to lick it's fur. The man slowly sat back up.

"Just because a group of men in silly shirts and hats said that you can't doesn't mean that you can't. Would you appreciate if girls played the same game? You've always said that you wish girls were more straightforward, more honest and direct with what they want. Shouldn't you treat them with that same respect? Why do you get to play games and they don't?"

The man remained thoughtful for a while. "Yes," he started, "but doesn't doing all that seem a bit too much and too fast?"

"So would you rather a girl think that you're not that kind of guy? If you spent less time trying to suppress who you really are and more time being you, you'd have a lot more success."

"Think about it this way, if you keep pretending to be who you're not, you'll end up attracting girls who don't like you for who you are. Why do you think that you can get many dates, but yet nothing happens after? Why do you think that it's only after you've been friend zoned that you find yourself on much better terms with the girls you went out with?"

"You think that it's because you've had time to warm up to them, but that's bullshit. It's because you let yourself be free of the constraints you've placed on yourself. Your friendships with girls aren't vanilla, you ask them weird and fucked up things and you don't care if they find it offensive because that's who you are, it's who they've chosen to befriend, and have any of them stopped being your friend? The answer is no. The only people who have pushed you away are the girls who probably don't appreciate the front you're trying to put on."

"Maybe it's time to let go what you think society has to say about dating. Maybe it's time to just start being you. Maybe some girls won't appreciate the humor or forwardness, but then those are the girls you probably won't want to be with anyway, right?"

The man frowned. He took his index finger and began to trade it in the dirt. It looked like a cartoon figure. "So do you honestly think I fucked it up permanently with this one?"

"No. You said your piece, she was honest, appreciate the fact that you're both grown up about this. Maybe trying to go back to the way things were might not be possible, but that just means that another door was opened. Another possibility, maybe another chance."

"But it hurts so bad, I feel like I've let her down and I've let myself down." He felt his voice crack. "I feel like she didn't get a chance to know the real me, and that she will never get to know the real me."

"Maybe she won't ever, or maybe she will one day. The only thing you can do now is takeaway from this experience a lesson you will never, ever forget."

The man nodded looked up in the sky and spotted something bright and shiny at the corner of his eye. "Hey look, a star finally."

"Make a wish," the cat said with a smirk in its voice. The man laughed, and boy did that feel good. He reached his hand out with the intention of stroking the cat. "Don't even think about it," said the cat with an air of finality.