One - Rebecca

“Don’t get me wrong, but I am totally disturbed,” I tell my best friend Madison, taking a sip of my sprite,
only to be welcomed by ice.
“You should be. There are things in life people should find disturbing, my crush on the most disgusting guy in school being one of them,” Madison replies, shrugging. “I am so sorry to not be able to control my
hormones-“I stop her there, holding up my hand. If you met Freddy you would understand automatically.
He’s just awkward. The way he walks, talks, laughs, smiles. He’s just an awkwardly born and raised human being. He could be cute if he dropped his whole life style. Maybe.
I hear a group of people and see Anthony first. God he makes my heart melt. He’s just so … gorgeous. I dunno. Normally I’m not shallow. Normally I can look at him and flat out say ‘he’s a jackass, a jerk and a womanizer’ but I swear I am so just, into him. I hate it. I really do. He’s wanted by practically the whole school �" seniors included- and here I am, the generic nerdy girl. Madison always says I’ll look gorgeous without my glasses and that normally brown eyes are butt ugly but mine aren’t. She also says Freddy is a gorgeous human being so I’m not sure what to believe anymore from her. Anthony’s friends are the jerks I was talking about before. They’re beyond annoying. They always play jokes on people like me. It sounds like a superficial thing; the popular jerks make fun of the nerdy girl but seriously. They laugh so hard every time one of them makes some joke. They’ll make suggestive comments that I know are jokes. I’ve seen
Carrie, I’m not about to accept a popular guys request to go to a dance.
“Are you staring at him?” Madison says, giving me a look.
“Sorry but …”
“Oh don’t do that to me! You’re the sane one. You’re supposed to keep your head on straight while I’m off in fantasy land-”
God his lips look really soft.
“Seriously?”
I wonder if he knows I’m looking at him. He glances in my direction and does that little head nod guys do before sitting with his friends in the booth. I nearly melt. Nearly.
“I am seriously tempted to leave.” She says, crossing her arms. “I can go back to my shift right now.”
Madison works at the pizza parlor we’re at right now, and that almost all of my high school spends they’re time at. Dino’s is infamous for bad pizza but amazing low prices on soda.
“Sorry,” I tell her quickly, blushing.
“Ohmygod you were thinking about him!” She nearly yells.
I turn a bright tomato red.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I snap, before acting into the shape of cup. My heart is racing. What if he heard? What if their table heard?
“What? I am being totally serious. You have to stop spending all your time thinking about him,” she brings her voice down.
“I don’t think you actually like Freddy then, because he should be the only thing on your mind,” I snap at her,
“Chill your balls,” Madison grumbles.
“Oh shut up,” I tell her.
We both sit in silence for a little before looking at each other and cracking up. We can’t stay mad at each other for very long. We’ll go into an argument �" mostly about the male population of our school �" and then two seconds later be laughing about something totally crazy and stupid. Like looking at each other. Our relationship is totally twisted. Like we’ll call each other b***h in a loving manner or something and everyone just kind of looks at us like we’re on crack.
“I have to go back,” Madison tells me.
“Have fun!” I smile and give her a cutesy little wave.
I grab my purse, check to make sure my jeans are in the way they should be (I wore them today hoping I would run into Anthony. Normally I don’t wear jeans, it’s all preppy skirts. Not s****y skirts, preppy and professional.) I thought they made me look pretty good, although they probably have no effect on what the girls he hangs out with do. They’re all so gorgeous, like models and stuff. It’s like all the gorgeous people decided to go into one group and just hang out together.
Walking out I glance at the table once, making eye contact with him. I look away quickly and look away, but no before noticing the two girls on either side, his arm around one of them. Alright. Whatever. That doesn’t affect me.

But it did. I went home, popped the Titanic into the DVD player and started bawling my eyes out. I know. I’m that sad. But I couldn’t help it! Less then an hour ago I saw my crush, the guy I’ve liked since second grade probably flirting with some girl. I can’t even imagine how I would react to them kissing or, God forbid, dating. I would curl up in a fetal position and die. Why are only gorgeous girls popular? For once can’t the nerdy, dorky, awkward, ugly one get in? I’m going to die alone. I know it. Maybe I should turn into a lesbian. I’m sure the lesbian home will accept me right in. Or maybe a mental hospital. It’s not healthy to be obsessed with someone. Even if he’s a gorgeous, perfect guy. Nothing makes up for knowing someone’s complete schedule or facebook stalking them. I blow my nose and pick up the phone. Madison’s shift should be about over by now.
“Dino’s pizza parlor, this is Madison speaking how may I help you?”
Or not.
“Did J.J. make you stay longer?”
“Yeah,” she groans, “I hate him.”
J.J. is the most annoying person either of us has met. He thinks he’s funny and thinks he super cool and always makes Madison stay behind so he can chill with his ‘bros’ (i.e. stand around near Anthony’s group.)
“Alright. Call me when your shift finishes,” I tell her
“I might just leave. I’ve finished, I don’t need to do his job too.”
“Alr-“
I hear her talking to someone off the phone. I can’t tell if it’s a customer or J.J. I can’t decipher anything, they’re like, mumbling.
“I’ll call you,” Madison says and hangs up. Huh. Alright.
I go back to crying (this time over the movie.) I didn’t realize how long it had been until my mom walked in the door.
“Hey sweetheart!” She smiles. She’s been practically glowing like a pregnant lady ever since she reached the month of her high school reunion. She said I should go at least down to the neighborhood and see where she lived and stuff. I have zero interest since the time she’s going is over a three day weekend. Three day weekends are supposed to be fun, not visiting old houses and stuff. I was planning on watching whatever movies I want and eating what I want over that time.
“Hi mom,” I say.
“Ohmygod. You are not crying that much over the Titanic are you?” She asks, crossing her arms. No one is supportive of how overly emotional I get while watching movies. Seriously. It’s not my fault. The stories are just so freaking sad!
“No. It’s Anthony.”
“Males are too much trouble. Don’t bother with them, they’re a pain.”
“Thanks mom. That really helps,” I settle myself in the couch more and it just figures that they’re about to kiss on screen.
“Come on!” I groan and hide and under the covers.
My mom is stifling laughter. She thinks I can’t hear her but I can. Loud and clear. Apparently she thinks my non-existent love life is humorous.
“Shut up mom, it’s not funny!”
“Actually it is. I never thought you were this much of a drama queen.”
I give her the evil eye and she looks at the movie.
“This is my favorite part,” she sighs and leans against the counter.
“I think it’s anyone who’s seen the movie’s favorite part too. It’s like, talked about all the time.” I say, but watching I get quiet. It’s when Jack and Rose in the front of boat. Most romantic movie scene of all time, I swear.
I can’t help but see me up there, Anthony where Leonardo DiCaprio is. God. I have problems.