Dependency

 

 

 

You fool, I beat you at your ongoing

soul’s civil war

 

Before you knew, I turned you into my

neurotic little w***e

 

You were foolish falling for my unhealthy and

fanatical affair

 

With orgasmic laughter, I raped your soul as

you were unaware

 

Your desire was fed on my many arousing promises

 

I’m aesthetic and came to you in many disguises

 

During times when you felt scared, I was your

blanket for security

 

Dealers helped work my deed of taking away your

inner purity

 

You took me in as I lessened your pleasure capacity

 

You sought me out for pleasure with pure audacity

 

You never woke up, as I watched your family touch

your face and mourn

 

My mission was complete as I looked at your body

so mangled and worn

 

You see, you had fatal attraction to my offering of

deadly passion

 

Rest in peace wasted one, as I destroy the next girl

without compassion

Reviews

[John Stussy]

Powerful piece, i speaks to me as the voice of several intoxicants. It really hit home, and you described the process through which I have seen several friends go through.
From a literary standpoint, the meter of the piece was interesting, not how most would write it, but it worked very well in my opinion. It kind of gave the piece it's own unique flavor. All in all, a good piece.

[THERISA]

A very powerful and emotional poem, which deals honestly with the daemons of drug addiction. Not sugar coating it with flowery phrases. Hoping writing out these feelings are part of your self-healing and the renewal of your soul. Having witness the harm that alcohol addiction has done to members of my own family. My major beef with the presentation of the poem, is the small font used to write it out. One is left with the sense that you are ashame to acknowledge this part of your past. That is only my personal opinion on the matter. Thank you for sharing this very personal poem with us.

Therisa

[The Rose That Grew From..]

its interesting view at dependency

[David Darabian]

A really strong piece of writing with a clear message. I like when poems, aswell as stories for that manner, has a deeper meaning than just unhappy love or similar. In conclusion; great poem, it's strong, clear and it hits its target perfectly.

[Wolfwind Words]

This piece was strong. It came to me that it was about substance abuse, be that with drugs or a heated passion of a man who might use a girl. Either way the image was clear, showing us a view of these intoxicants that humanity falls for and dies over, just for a rush to cover over the rest of their lives.

I have watched as people walked down this road. Some jump off at the last minute finding salvation. Others end up just like your poem describes.

The second to the last stanza caused me to pause for a moment. The flow got thrown on that one. I felt the word " Devouring " could be either taken out, or replaced with something else. That's just me thought. :)

This poem brings to light a thread of existance in our world, that often goes unseen by many. Thanks for sharing this. Hopefully there may come a time, when no person may need to go through something like this.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

I read this almost like a rap... very good beat and the way the sentences flowed with the kicker word at the end of each line... Good writing, bad subject! Speaks of getting caught up in something too much for too little gratification - being used and tormented and wasted..... happens all to often.... I like "your soul's ongoing civil war..." Some great phrasing here.... dark

[Prose-full]

mmm..nice flow to this..
i like the easy mellowed flow yet emotional-filled
and honesty as the toxicity of 'it' ate away at life..

very nice jenn

[Antony]

A powerful write in the voice of drugs, those which destroy the spirit and leave us without a soul, a death sentence for many, you did very well in describing from beginning to end, what this addiction can do and how it makes one feel. I wasn't crazy about the format Jen, it seemed to hinder the flow of your words, there are a few places where you could drop some words, to make this flow better.
Tony