His Side

 

 

 

 

The father would lead the boy to a farm

To observe the roosters as they do harm

 

The stupefied roosters, with metal spurs so sharp

Battled each other, as grown men sounded a harp

 

His father and allies would devour much beer

For close of the day stirred new tastes of fear

 

The lad and his friend would venture out of sight

To escape the fathers demand for a desired fight

 

Two children who couldn’t envision the reason

For result of inebriant had changed the season

 

Gentle souls with spirits so loving and carefree

Forced to pounce one another under an oak tree

 

As wounded coons surrounded by battalion of hounds

Two boys hurt each other on God’s inviolable grounds

 

Mother would find one small boy with swollen lip

Wipe his blood off then send him back to the whip

 

Now with the thought of childhood’s precious time

A full grown man sits lamenting his unnatural crime

Author's Note

Many people suffer pain and trauma growing up. Some use it as a reason to hurt others. I am empathetic for this man, but he never should have used this as a reason........

Reviews

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A powerful piece of writing. Your words show the violence of so childrens upbringing by there parents, does this mean when the child grow into adult how he is doomed to repeat this process? I dont have the answers, all I know is this is very powerful topic to be writting about. A hard subject but I think you did well!

[shadadakiya]

boy 's don't need a reason to fight even if they don't have a reason they will find one, it dosent matter how much mother trys to tell them or how much father dosent care they will do what ever it is there going to do it dosent matter to them who or what they hurt because they are boy'sand boy's just don't care.

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

Yes we come to a place where we decide what kind of people that were going to be, whatever happened to us as children. My mom was a wonderful mother, even though her dad used to beat her with a 2X4. At some point you rise above, or else you are subsumed.

It's sad to think of kids getting drawn into the violence of a c**k fight, and going off to fight themselves because of the example.

[Erin Phoenix]

I felt the tenderness of this poem as I read it out loud.

I liked it very much Jenn.

:)

[Jason]

This is a very powerful and important poem. The cyclicle fashion of violence in a family is very much unseen and spoken with tongue in cheek. i.e., most child molesters have been victims of child molestation themselves. This was a very good write Jen. Scary, honest, straight. Thank you for sharing it with me.

[Bennett Logan]

I'm interested in the subject you're working with here... It has to do with the cyclical effects of violence, am I correct? The kids witness drunkards cheering on a c**k fight and then the kids go off to fight their own fight. Weighty, indeed, and certainly worth writing about. You have a good piece here, but you know that I always have a but...

I may have said this in one of my previous reviews, but some of the rhymes seem forced -- like you were cornered into saying something that you didn't necessarily want to say. Don't get me wrong. I'm not speaking out against rhyming couplets. I like rhyming couplets. But in a case like this, consult the rhyme dictionary to see if you can find a rhyme closer to what you want to write. For instance, line three ended with the word "sharp" (which works in its context), but then in line four, it was made to rhyme with "grown men sounded a harp." This urged my mind to think of a drunk guy in a barn playing an ornate gold harp amid a presumed c**k fight. It distracted me from the violence at the core of this poem. I found similar instances in other parts of the poem, but that's not what I'm trying to get at...

Here's what I was thinking. It seems to me like you have multiple poem opportunities here. I think the c**k fight could have its own poem -- barn, metal spurs, feathers, blood, booze, drunk guys yelling. All really, really good stuff. Then you have another potential poem about two kids fighting under an oak tree just for the sake of fighting. Use descriptive language to write about what you see or envision. You seem to have an extremely vivid and creative imagination behind your writing, and I definately want to read more. Keep up the good work.

[Barbara Walker]

Jenn, it's a nice poem but I think it might flow a little better if you changed the 10th line to " Not knowing inebriety in Dad had changed the season". Or "Not knowing an inebriated Dad had changed the season." Just a suggestion. Barbara

[larryb]

So nice i liked this a lot , very deep and well told...

[J.P.O.et]

As a reason or an excuse to harm others.
This type of trauma has one of two results, either you
vow to live life differently or you use it as an excuse
to harm and abuse others. Therein lies the true colors.
Very thought provoking read, thanks Jenn

J.P.O.et

[James K. Blaylock]

This is such a powerful piece. It's such a shame that we go through so many awful things in this lifetime, but it only makes everything worse if we keep the sorrow going...

jkb