My Words

These words flowed like my hands weren't even writing. An emotional write for me.

My words ache for your hands to touch

 

all of the solitary moments I wished

for you to only know

every hint of my deep sorrow

     stuck in my throat

and cold

with hungry satisfying teeth

 

Tell me, can you hear

my soul that cries

into my porcelain flesh and creates

my stained soul and bones that ache

 

Please arouse me, I feel fear

 

Will you ever sustain me

as we swim through broad oceans

Heal all of the monstrous thoughts I remember

    all the wounds and lost hope

    all the begging and inner needs

Life has been so dark, I wonder

Were my eyes

ever open

 

All the times I felt

I was standing and soon

I would fall

 

Author's Note

LYRICAL

Reviews

[THERISA]

Every poet leaves a piece of their soul behind when they share a poem that they have written. Your emotions shine out like a beacon to the readers in the choppy seas of life. Capturing the essence of the situation and the accompanying emotions. Thank you for sharing this very emotional poem with us.

Therisa

[Barbara Walker]

The imagery in this is just so raw and bold and from deep in the soul. It rings with a truth I find both disturbing and beautiful. ...every hint of my deep sorrow, stuck in my throat and cold with hungry satisfying teeth...wow. excellent piece of work.

[Kari]

good job

[Prose-full]

"My words ache for your hands to touch"----from jump this took me and swooped me through the entire write..
i love this
"Will you ever sustain me...
Heal all of the monstrous thoughts I remember
all the wounds and lost hope
all the begging and inner needs
Life has been so dark, I wonder
Were my eyes
ever open"--------this stanza is full of nurturing that you yearn for yourself...and growth and awakening in---wondering "if your "eyes were ever open"


keep writing jenn..gets better as i read..
s.davis.....
oh..and this is another one i'd love to see continued,i wanted more to read...

[larryb]

Well done nicely written..........

[Bennett Logan]

Ah, yes... The pits of forlorn love. Anybody who reads this can and will relate. Absolutely everyone's been there. I like the natural free verse you have here, and you shouldn't change a thing about it. It's raw, honest, and to the point. Outside of that, I'd suggest using more descriptive language in order to give the reader a picture to put together. Otherwise, this is clean, honest, and I want to read more. Good work.

[Mr. Lopez]

I can see how some would interpret pain and sarrow in this piece although I see something more. There is yearning and antisipation for a moment of awakening. Awakening your dormant love that has never once seen the light of day."Life has been so dark, I wonder ,Were my eyes ever open ?" a life with false love maybe? "All the times I felt I was standing and soon ,I would fall." again .. a love worth falling for . At last! yes i see yearning for your love to come . Very emotional indeed. you rock Jen.

[a Messenger]

Very intense! I could feel your emotions..The longing and desire.
As usual, beautifully written.
He's a lucky man.

[J.P.O.et]

I like this, def. different in the form
The indented lines stand out to me and make me feel the 'sorrow, stuck'
and 'all the wounds...., all the begging'
Really nicely done
J.P.O.et

[Ralphy]

Great form Jenn, you have a style that passion seeps out of the crack until it flows like a dam. Your feelings are intense in this write, Nice work