Amends

Momma, I loved you but I didn't love me.

Momma, I beat you down to who I needed you to be.

Momma, I couldn't look you in your honest eyes.

Momma, my eyes were tired, cold and full of lies.

Momma, when I vanished, I wasn't running from you.

Momma, you were always there to see me shine through.

You believed in me, like no one else ever had.

I'm so sorry I changed your happy eyes to sad.

I couldn't let you see me keep losing, never winning.

I couldn't erase the pain, start over from the beginning.

I missed you when I was so cold, lost and alone.

I wanted so badly to be in your arms back home.

I drifted -
So far.

I dug open -
My bleeding scar.

Mind was lost.
Soul tossed.

Look what I lost.
Self respect.
Body wrecked.

I stole.
Lost my soul.

I lied.
Lost my pride.

You're my Momma, my best friend
Give me another chance to be Jenn.

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

That cuts Jenn. That was deep. I like how you repeated "momma" in the beginning of each stanza., and then kept it to two-three words per stanza when you speak of yourself, and the hurt she inflicted. It is sad how when we don't receive the proper love growing up it can affect us later in life. I had that same situation with my father, he wasn't there for me, and i always grasped to other male's arms. I no longer do this, but i feel where you are coming from.

[THERISA]

The emotional pain of these written words are like daggers seeking the target. Hitting dead centre with their perfectly aimed throw. I can understand some of the reason for this intense pain, there is much that is still hidden from us and needs time to heal. Hoping that you are able to find that time to heal yourself, Jenn. Thank you for sharing this very personal and emotional poem with us.

Therisa

[MistyJRose]

wow beautiful poem. I like how you did it in kind of like a letter style. You describe your pain and anguish beautifully here. Great job. Hope to read more from you. :)

[A.r. Bazian]

this must have been hard!
the confrontation!
the poem reflects a strong technique!
i like it!

and i hope you would start loving yourself as she had loved you!
and as we love you!

i like it!
keep it up!

[BlakeL79]

This was emotionally difficult to read in that you are most certainly writing about yourself. I know that poets write their experience, and while I try not to make my poetry personal, this really opens one up.

It is cathartic to let go oneself through words, I know that it certainly allows a sense of honesty to shine through. The personal feelings here transcend the well formed verses. Sometimes it can be difficult not to just spew emotion like so much splattered paint, but to craft it into something meaningful without losing the "raw". You blend both and I appreciate that your artistry had to be expressed through such pain. Excellent work!

[Str8jacket]

I know a little bit of how you feel. This poem is deep and moving with a nice flow and beautifully selected wording. You are a great writer.

[James K. Blaylock]

This is such a hearfelt piece. We all have things in our lives we'll like to forget, and people we'd love to have forgive us... Hopefully those old mistakes won't follow us forever.

jkb

[larryb]

Yes very well done , i feel your pain and most if not all of us would if they could change things in there life that they are not very proud of....but well written.

[J.P.O.et]

Yes, letting down those closest to us is a
painfull experience, maybe worst than all
the rest of it. But we all deserve a second chance(or three or four)
and family is always willing to provide that.
Nicely done
J.P.O.et

[Erin Phoenix]

Aww. I feel sad for Monna...

Good poem .. I enjoyed it very much! :)

[Antony]

Your sad and remorseful heart, spills all over this page, asking forgiveness is so very hard to do at times, not at all for you, as you plead for a second chance, very emotional write Jenn, coming full circle to admit the mistakes you made.
Tony