March On

Covered by fluid in the womb

Brought into world of consequence

By the light of the buoyant moon

Awakened by her consciousness

A swaddled virgin will face doom

Cuts and sores yielding victory

Emanate her chartless combat

Shielding her insecurity

The rocking chair where she once sat

Has been crushed by calamity

By swinging her now shattered bat

Naked legs of inequity

Bear child facing arduous life

First blood marches powerfully

Ascertained he shall soon overcome

Life of another’s mockery

As weak wife is bearing their son

Reviews

[David Scott]

You explore our arrival to this world very well. Chance? Fate?
Innocence? What of it?
I like how you bring in a son to the picture in the last line.
These children become the man and woman of the future. Shattered lives still bring life and hope. Yes, often they bring more misery and disappointment too...
Still, we "March On".
I felt your heart searching for the why of it all. It is good to explore these concepts. You show your mind and your heart well in this poem.

[justjenn_2u]

Thank you David. You brought even more light to my exploration of the why of it all. I appreciate your reviews.

[timthy]

im takin it you are with child? you have the tools to create a genius...never doubt yourself or your writing...you stimulate my subconscious with the way you view things...kinda reminds me of myself...love ya sis...keep up the good work!!!

[justjenn_2u]

Thanks but I am not with child though I wish I was.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

In blunt observation I must say that the one stanza that sticks out for me is the one that begins, "The rocking chair where she once sat..." Other than that, this all flows well for me. I like the 3-2-3-3-2-4 numbers of lines in the structure of the stanzas. It works well because the subject matter fits for each line! The ending is complex and powerful and very much shapes the whole. It makes me wonder if there is some even larger story than the whole that is here, because it is so dense. It is hard to pack that much in and you did it well!

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

A poem about "the leaders of tomorrow," children of the feature. Neat prospective!

[m.s.early]

Such a melancholy, but blessed event.
"Cuts and sores yielding victory" - the bruises we bare for the love of our children
"Naked legs of inequity" - How poignant. Critical thinking lends me into the unplanned beauty I received from my first born.
Brilliantly you capture the twisted experience that such can bring into the human condition.
Beautiful mother.

[justjenn_2u]

Thank you for the review. I always enjoy your take on my piece of mind. Jenn

[Barbara Kasey Smith]

Women who give birth to a child suffers, it's painful, stressful, and doubting and we never know what their outcome will be in their life. When people make a choice to bring a child into this world many are not prepared, and yes, some are weak and unprepared but we know we must push forward for, "We have a child to raise;" and it is a struggle to raise them to be adults and often there are problems that come after they're adults. This is life and we, as people, cannot give into our weaknesses but we must carry on until the end.

[Frieda P]

Naked legs of inequity
Bear child facing arduous life

I think that stanza sum'd up the sentiment of this read, life is unfair, still we battle on.

[justjenn_2u]

Thanks Frieda. Yes, we do as trudge on the march of life. Thanks for your review.

[Frieda P]

My pleasure jenn.