How to Explain

Collab with John Stussy

Voices seeping and time's creeping

Grant a voice to regrets leaking

Whisper, whisper “pain, pain,”

Ground is lost with nothing gained.

A see-saw of thoughts and emotions

Tosses like a sea in motion,

Regret slams like waves of judgement

And calamity swiftly approaches

 

Little boy, your voice is seeping

I can’t live with words you’re speaking

Cry, cry “you scrub the stain”

Did I really go insane?

I should drown as you swim the oceans

How poisonous is my potion?

Never doubted your assumption

How can I steer my raw, inner focus

 

I rushed too fast towards escape

And tripped a snare I couldn't see

The cage fell down to hold me in

Making me stumble to my knees

Not friends or family or myself

 Buy my stale apologies

 

I can’t keep blaming my rape

I can’t beg on bended knee

Can’t explain the places I’ve been

I will die, and leave you my pleas

Forgive me and you can find yourself

My riot is not your peace

 

Though ghosts show their ugly faces

 And I'm haunted by dark places

Marked upon my path of life

 Underneath a surgical knife

Of self examination

I defy my termination

And my very ruination

 For in the crucible of Hell

My mind and soul are tried and tempered

 

One rape case and 12 drug cases

Cold walls with no warm embraces

Is my love a sharp knife?

Do you bail out when you feel strife?

Respect your confrontation

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"I can’t keep blaming my rape
I can’t beg on bended knee
Can’t explain the places I’ve been
I will die, and leave you my pleas"
A powerful poem. I felt the thoughts and struggle in the poem. I believe sometime we must tried to bury the bad memories. I know this is a impossible task. Few people understand our life and struggle. Some battles are fought inside till we can forget or forgive. No weakness in the amazing poetry. Thank you for sharing.
Coyote

[Anand Sehgal]

A surreal sound came of your write. some lines are really awesome.
I would suggest a little bit of work on the flow though :)

overall , very good work !
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[Luke Rawlings]

I love this piece! This practically blew me away.

[m.s.early]

Exposes the stretch marks of recovery. Some scars are left from damage, some from recovery. Healing causes pain when the wound is closing.

Your writing shows a pattern of street smart exposing itself in dark alleys of the human condition.

A true artist has the ability to spear a soul and force it to feel things it may not have been prepared for. You seem to be walking with those types of writers.

[Healing Star]

I see progress.
You can leave it behind, and walk into a whole new day.
There are oceans within you ready to be explored.
You have to find a way to leave the chatter of you brain behind,
and fall into your Heart, into a stillness. In this stillness you will
find all that has happened is no more, there is no past there is no judgement.
There is only the stillness, the compassion, and there is a You that has hope in You.
Keep fighting and keep writing, I like the flow of this.
I have started to listen for a tune to write to. I remember when you told me how
you heard a poem I wrote, and heard it as real blues, you said kick a*s blues.
That was my favorite review. I wrote a poem called "Wanna be a blues singer"
I would like to here the rhythm you heard. I built a Congolese Drum and and learning to play it.
Keep working on Self Jen, you are beautiful.

[John Stussy]

This one really turned out well. Always a pleasure to write with you Jenn.

[Pax Analog]

"Is my love a sharp knife?!Do you bail out when you feel strife?"

There's the edge of vital passion. It can be contentious struggle or it can be a wake-up call. Almost everyone thinks life is about what's happening outside. The various official and street horrors in plain sight, or hidden, the same old bullshit wrangle over true intimacy. Life is entirely about the nature of naked Mind without qualification. Period. Then one is free. Then one can address the dreary normalcy and the dreary abnormalcy of "out there" -- without being part of the stupid mess too.

Your poem reflects on the past but senses the eternal Now. Live there.