Memory

My son wrote this and this is his first poem. I think he has talent beyond his years for being so young. I welcome feedback on this talented piece.

I remember much more now
Left alone to ponder

Lest there are not many
more surfaces to scratch

As life's meaning begins to fracture
and wane, I am left
stumped and confused as to our origins

I then feel indifferent
towards my fellow human beings
as I did when I was but a child

Loving, yet cautious
Looking for their answer relentlessly

They need it as much as they do structure
Now knowing the search is in vain
I wish only to forget

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

As a first poem this is very good and it shows your son is able to articulate concepts in few words. His structure us good and a bit of crafting will improve the piece. Stanza five for example would read far more fluidly as:
'Loving, yet cautious
Looking for answer relentlessly and stanza six 'they need it' should be 'they need them' plural.

[B-poet]

He's got definite potential beyond his current age. That's always a wonderful asset in our world today. Great work. A cordial read. :)

[Sam A]

a well written inner dialog. I'm reading frustration, especially at the end. That point, when you're out of words, that is where the magic happens ... "I wish only to forget" ... powerful! I would like to suggest another piece exploring this wish.

[justjenn_2u]

Your suggestion is so welcomed!!!