The Permit Test

Critiques are most welcome :)

The Permit Test

You will notice on page 22
That it is polite
To leave your headlights on during inclement weather
Also, on page 3
We prefer that you use the RIGHT side of the road.
I've included a handout about
How drunk driving is generally discouraged
(unless you're in a hurry)

In the event that you should see a beige sudan containing
A red haired girl with the gold pillars of Olympus in her eyes
Pull off to the side of the road and watch her pass.
Her gentle face
Makes an unsightly dark smear
On a good bit of the dotted yellow line on Old Oak Rd.

We (of course) don't believe in silly things like "love"
But when your automobiles shared
That messy French kiss
It's like you broke a part of the circuit that keeps my dreams alive
The sun didn't set,
it blinked off
With the
"pop"
of a breaking fiddle string.

If a sign says "do not enter"
Don't go that way
And please don't park on my Muse.

Reviews

[xx]

There are no words to express my thoughts on this poem. Just that it is a marvelous piece, combining concrete with abstract and melding the two of them while making the contrast between them ever so clear, simultaneously and fluidly.

I read another one of your poems, Precipice, I think? And I said I'd read your other works - and you haven't disappointed, let me tell you that. And I have nothing else to say, because I am just speechless.

100/100. Bravo, and keep writing! :)

-Mina

[Condor]

You are a different writer and one which begs attention and I shall be making sure I get to read more of oyur pieces as time goes on. A very intriguing write which takes a person down a very strange and mysterious path. Where was that road leading? It depends on what the reader themselves see in the words and I speciffically saw a stranger who took away a dream. (only what I saw)

[Brandon]

This was equal parts humorous, beautiful and thought-provoking. I love the description of the girl (gold pillars of Olympus in her eyes), the roadway 'suggestions' and the sun's fiddle pop. Great imagery. Great poem!