The Fool And Me

We've come a long way, the fool and me,

Two people as one we've always been,

In my head i would watch, the fool from afar,

the things that he does on a night at the bar,

But when the morning arises he scurries away, 

Back under a rock in the cold light of day,

Of all of the things that I'd like to be,

None of them include the fool and me

I sit and I watch him n wondering why,

The fool he takes over and I'm pushed aside,

I scream from the corners of where I'm banished to be,

We suffer forever,

The fool and me,

For we are one person, one and the same,

Though together we hide under one face n one name, 

No matter wherever we'll always be,

Stuck here together the fool and me

The fool he ain't all bad for he feels it too,

The knotted up insides n ten shades of blue,

One day will be better one day we could be,

Happy together, the fool and me

Reviews

[justin bluebuds]

The n's are a lazy habit think i'll sort that first! Cheers man

[WizardsAffliction]

'Tis alright, sir. Happy to help! Also, if you're confused on how to add comments to reviews, if you look at my review above, you'll see a little clipboard with a green arrow and a very tiny pencil. Click on that and you can leave a comment on a review without accidentally posting a review and subsequently causing a stir of confusion.

Hope you have a great day! :D

[justin bluebuds]

haha oops! id seen that too not sure how i missed it! you too man!

[WizardsAffliction]

The use of the letter "n" would be okay if the rest of the language complemented its nature, and some of the lines need cutting or rephrasing to help with flow and syllabics. I'm not saying you need an adjusted amount of syllables per line, but try to make them as even as possible without disrupting the timing.

Good job and I look forward to seeing more! You have great potential.

Hope this helps and happy trails! :D