Blood

My gut wrenches,

Fear plays with all the thoughts in my head.

Quietly I collapse on myself,

My world narrows down to a fine point,

Bile rises in my throat.

Thoughts race by

 

Are you okay?

Will you see all this blood on my hands?

All the hate,

Lies,

Mistakes,

I see them.

Every day,

They wait for me to wake

Calling me,

Whispering in my ear,

Always reminding me that I can never be good enough.

 

I pray every day you don’t see that,

The evil,

My darker nature,

The part of me that haunts me.

Like my feelings for you,

Because I love you,

Yes, I’m sure.

This is love,

You make me feel like I’m a better person.

Even with all this blood,

The blood that comes off on everything I touch.

 

I don’t want to force this on you,

And I know you don’t want that.

You tell me that I’m a good person,

That you need me,

Love me.

But not like I love you.

I can see why.

It sits on my shoulder for the world to see.

I can’t keep their eyes off it forever.

 

As far as good goes…

I am not.

I can breathe but not move,

See but not respond,

Love but never act.

You show what I could have been.

And when my mistakes keep me awake at night.

I think of you.

It makes me be a better person.

Your eyes seem to whisper to me,

That maybe one day,

I can be redeemed

Then

Maybe then I could,

I could,

Act on what I feel.

I wish I could every day.

 

Every day I see how much I’m not worthy,

Reminded of failure,

It doesn’t change my feelings.

Killing me softly,

All this blood.

  I love you…

 

Reviews

[frnd]

Beautiful. It is your soul being exposed.

[brittneymarie]

Amazing amazing write :]
you really thought this through and it shows

In my opinion I thought it was dark yet sweet
very different

great job
,BrittneyMarie