Nil.

grope for luna, gaze over the edge of it.

too far drowned in my own narcissism
and this absolut vodka
i wondered what it would be like
to be a good poet.

from one pole to the other i oscillated between the latinate and
the
well, i was thinking of a certain word
but now i've forgotten.

lost in the haze, a whir of colors and stories that I can't distinguish, much less lose again. i couldn't put in the effort to separate the whites in the wash
and now they've all gone grey.

the truth is.

the back of my throat itches and burns.
you climb and claw,
but I pull your name back down with all the others
because we're done with samspace now
here and forevermore.

from one pole to the other i oscillated,
feeling too sluggish to make sense,
and i pulled myself away from the insides of my head
until each word i wrote





from one pole to the other i oscillated,
between the latinate
and the sincere,
the genuinely perverse.

these once were synonyms of love.
i know i felt it, crying in my hands.

please come back to me, samwise.

Reviews

[.]

:: i dunno how you write only sublime poetry... i've read a lot of people and they try to write only sublime poetry but don't succeed every time... :: perhaps it's your innate earnestness that makes you such a fantastic poet... you live and love with all your heart... and so when you write about it... one can sense every heartbeat that accompanied the writing of a poem... "nil" is a poem i won't forget... because it reminded me of everything that i don't want to forget... even if that 'everything' has forgotten about me...

[just_teague]

One day you have to have to wake up and decide to let the past go- to stop thinking of those people who let you down, hurt you, or outright abandoned you. You wake up as a free person with a fresh start. Why not today of all days? To learn to forgive is one of the most painful lessons, but obviously the most rewarding.

[.]

:: true, true... we have to take ownership of our lives... and be responsible... and get to that place where we know that if we were hurt/abandoned etc. ... by people... it was because they didn't know better... :: i feel it is abruptness that causes the most pain... it breaks the flow of the one who is hurt/abandoned... :: with me, in all cases but one, i was able to let go... in the one case that i wasn't able to let go, i found in me a love that makes me very happy... it's the sort of love that reminds me of my ability to love... :)