The Real Me...

A journal entry I wrote a while ago... Thought people with depression might be able to relate. Hope you like it.

You wanna know what my biggest problem is?

I take things and blow them way out of proportion.

I am becoming way to worried about myself.

I want things and I want them now.

I want to be the best right there and then.

I'm getting emotionally scared by myself.

I am screaming on the inside, hoping that someone notices.

I am not alright.

I am dying inside.

I don't know why!

No one is noticing anything different about me.

If they have they haven't told me about it.

I am not afraid of death.

I'm not afraid of someone killing me,

torturing me,

hitting me,

yelling at me.

I am scared at that second but then I calm down.

The thing I am most terrified of is... me.

I am my worst enemy.

I beat myself up.

I make myself cry.

I am not afraid of dying.

I cause my own pain and then complain when someone is telling me what's wrong with their life.

At least they have a reason.

I'm scared of the dark.

I'm scared of violence.

I am scared of change.

Not because of monsters,

or getting hurt,

or new things.

I'm scared of them because I'm scared on how I react to what happens.

I make a big deal out of nothing,

imagine what I would do when there is actually something to get upset over...

Author's Note

Sorry that it isn't very poetic. (all photo credit to owners)

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Exaggeration is a big problem for us and others. So is depression too...A wonderful write...:)......................

[Sapphire Naylor]

Thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)......................

[Angela L Garratt]

I think this is a great poem. I look after my mother who has suffered with manic depression for many years. I don't suffer with depression and I never have, but I have seen how it can hit anyone, we are all vulnerable to it and my heart goes out to all that suffer with it. In my opinion, what you have wrote is a very strong piece that reflects many people's depressive state of mind. It is heart warming to know that people who suffer with depression are not on their own. Thank you for penning such a powerful poem.

[Jackson H. Harley]

Great write, full of emotion, very relatable, so much so that I couldn't help but see myself in certain lines, very powerful piece, well done :)

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

Wow! This is amazing! I have honestly felt every emotion that you poured out in this poem. This is one of the most relatable pieces i have ever read

[Scott Metro]

I enjoyed your human struggle.
Nice to know these feelings universal..


Scott

[Brittany Zedalis]

I suffered from depression on and off for many years. It was awful. Thankfully I got through it. This poem does a good job of portraying the thoughts of someone who was dealing with it. Good job.

[Linda alexander]

Fabulous and elegant writing, I really wish to bundle up the depression and throw it in the deepest of ocean so that it won't prevail on earth, but do not have the power and magic to do that, when I think about psychiatrists, counselors, their job security, tend to leave depression on this face of earth, enjoyed the writing

[Sapphire Naylor]

Thank you so much. I believe everyone who knows or has dealt with the severity of depression wishes the same, friend. Thank you for the wonderful review :)

[Linda alexander]

You most welcome, it is a vicious circle as far as the bills paid and every one eats at home, it is OK I think

[Kai Rollins]

No rhyme. Nor meter. Should ever denote to a necessity in poetry my friend. Don't you dare apologize. I understand a bit more of ya through this

[Sapphire Naylor]

Yes, the past tends to repeat itself...