a new world.

The girl with no soul

Who lost everything she once held close

has relapsed once more

in hopes of finding herself.

It started out with a trip

to find what she was missing

she found something greater

a place that she would hold close

It was the only thing to make her happy

the drug induced state she had lived in

away from reality 

lost in her dreams. 

The girl is now trapped. 

No hope of escaping

She cannot get out

please help me out..

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear junkiegirl17,

Interesting piece. The first stanza is powerful and it draws you in. And then you spring the trap. You seem to know it: "drug induced state". So unfortunate, but such a feeling of safety and escape. And then the problem. How to get oneself out of this state? Such a problem with no easy solution.

Struggle on. It can be done, but it's not easy.

Good one. High marks!

Best regards,

Rick

[Archia]

I think it's interesting that the way to escape turned into a curse. I really liked how it had that turn; I was reading it and was happy that they had found that way, but then saw how it turned and that really made it something great.

[ℰmerald ⚓]

amazing truly amazing. great work! :D

[Ees]

Nice work here.
There is always a way to escape. Relapse isn't the end. There are a variety of ways out and many people find them in different ways. () I think that this poem is easy to understand and easy to relate to, even if perhaps the reader is unfamiliar with drugs and relapse and how people get there, you wrote this in a way that can put them into what is happening.

The first two lines of the second stanza are phenomenal. That makes sense. That is often how it starts, isn't? A trip or a journey or just plain searching for oneself. Of course drugs don't usually take one there, but it seems like a good idea at the time.

In the second stanza, the last line, where you use "hold close"- I feel like you could have found some other words, because in the first stanza you already used "held close"- If a version of that were used in each stanza it would work well as repetition, but with your poem the way that it is I think it would be best to find a different way to say the same thing.

(Another personal note -->) I can't help you out. If I knew how to, I would, but I've been around long enough to know that I cannot help anybody, not ever. I think you just have to find your own way out, figure out what works for you. Everybody's different

Anyway, fantastic work on this poem!