Inside the mind of a corpse!

Just thought I would bring some levity to an untimely demise from the view of the deceased!

Inside the mind of a corpse!

                The unfortunate death of Ronald Car happened on a warm July day. Chaos ensued as the cops, firemen, and the coroner all took part in removing the corpse.

                As the ambulance whisked the body away. The police tried its best to restore order to a small crowd that gathered to find out the who, what and why an ambulance arrived and left with a body.

               No one knew him when he was alive, so why all the interest and wondering now. As the Fire Captain walked by one cop, he remarked “ Damn lookie-loo's, gonna be one of those days!” he climbed up into the fire truck, started the engine and drove off.

             The cop stood there next to his car, wondering why he said that. What had he meant by 'one of those days?' While standing next to the open door, he looked around and saw a few people staring mindlessly into space. He got in the squad car, called in that he was clear until the next call came in. He then drove off down the street looking for any crime being committed.

                The coroner declared Ronald Car was verifiably dead. So he prepped Ronald, by washing and sterilizing his body first before beginning the autopsy . He then began by slitting the side of his neck and inserting a tube to begin draining his bodily fluids.

                   All the while Ronald watched the proceedings from above. To him he thought he was dreaming, or having an out of body experience. He hadn't realized yet that he had died. This is an account of what he then saw:

                'Look here at that strapping young man just laying there. Get up man, how can you lay so relaxed while that man gives you a bath? Ugh, how can you let him put that tube in ya neck like that........ woah, look its your blood, your blood is coming out of your body. STOP IT, MAN.... GET UP, GET UP MAN!'

                 Soon his blood all drained out, and the coroner stood over Ronald. While shaking his head he remarked “ time to see why a strapping young man like you passed away. On the outside you look mighty healthy. Okay this isn't going to hurt one little bit young man, you won't feel a thing.”

              The coroner spoke to the body as he began to make the first cut with his scalpel.

                  Ronald shrieked in horror as he saw the man cut into the body. He yelled ' hey buddy get up that first cuts gonna hurt.'

                  The body remained lifeless as the coroner continued to make another cut across the stomach area. Then take the skin and flap it back to begin the dissection of the corpse.

              Again Ronald shrieked out ' wow he didn't even move at all, even after the slicing that guy did. Wait a second here, that guy looks vaguely familiar to me.'

            Ronald moved closer to the body, and what he saw sent chills through him. In a meta-physical way, since he was very much deceased.

           'hey that's me....... oh my God! Its me that man's cutting on. Does this mean that I have expired, but why? I was a healthy young man, at least I tried to be. I did eat all the right foods, never drank to much, stayed away from recreational drugs...... so why did I expire at such a ripe young age. Sure I didn't find the love of my life, but I was looking....... sort of. Now I got no chance in hell........ oh man I hope I don't get sent down there. I hear its a horrible place- all hot and fiery!'

            The coroner continued with the autopsy, removing all his vital organs and contents of his stomach. Placing each in a different container for the lab to do testing on. Then he closed up Ronald's chest and stitched it up. He gave the corpse one last good looking over to make sure he didn't miss anything. All the sudden he did notice a small pinprick on the neck. He immediately took a few pictures, then jotted down the words ' possible allergic reaction' on the autopsy report. Then he took a clean white sheet out of a drawer and covered the body, then put him in one of the compartments that hold the bodies.

           Ronald soon felt relief as his body was closed up and put away for the night. He was sure that he- a seemingly healthy man died from a bee sting! Ronald smiled and knew there was no way he was going to end up in hell!

Author's Note

I do hope this makes you laugh, just a little!