The Mad Musings of a Jackass- Early to Rise

Another day in the life of a Jackass, the Princess, and what the note the horse brought!

The Mad Musings of a Jackass �" Early to Rise!

        After leaving Hannah; I mosied into the barn. I ate a few oats then went into my stall to go to sleep. Later on I vaguely heard Hannah and Billy come in, and get settled into going to sleep too.

       Come morning, I sauntered out quietly, so as to not disturb the new filly. Billy could sleep through a tornado, although none have come to this part of the world……yet! Stranger things have happened. But that's not here nor there- I think that’s how it was put to the fair Princess once!

            Anyway after a good night of sleep, I needed to relieve myself. So I wandered far away from the ears of Hannah. Last time I tried to do my business in the barn, I heard quiet giggling from her stall. After that I figured that it’d be best to take my leave elsewhere.

          Shortly after I was done, I thought it would be best to check on the Princess. I heard singing coming from the house, and Rufus sitting outside on the porch.

       As I walked up he looked up at me, and said “hey Jack.”

                   “Hi Rufus, the Princess seems to have recovered nicely” I said happily.

        He replied “ Yeah we'll see…… remember the last time we thought she was alright. Good for a couple of days �" then down again!

        I shook my head ‘yes’ , then stood remembering after the last gorging she was down for months. If she’d only eat more fruits and vegetables, maybe more grain for fiber she would feel much better. But no she gets depressed, and begins to slowly eat every bad thing until she gets sick.

          “ Rufus keep an eye on her. I am going to tell Hannah that she is better. She still has that note for her to read. I just hope she doesn’t get mad from what he wrote to her. He seems to have disappointed the Princess so many times before” I stated.

                     “ So true” Rufus replied gruffly.

              “Well keep and eye on her, and I will be back shortly. Sure hope Hannah is easier to wake up then Billy. He get so gruff when woken up before he gets adequate sleep” I said, then walked off toward the barn.

           Rufus replied with a “Hrmph.”

         Which in his own way he would say that he would. Good ole Rufus, always there for her no matter what. And they say ‘dog is man’s best friend’. But he has been a faithful companion to the Princess for years. Even before this last man came into her life. You could always rely on Rufus to be her companion!

         As I walked into the barn, I paused, and saw Billy snoring loudly. So I went to the stall Hannah decided to sleep in. She was just beginning to wake up by stretching her body, first the front, then her back legs.. I stood there watching her graceful moves, it was like viewing a ballet performance. After a good 20 minutes I got tired, so I cleared my throat. (I get bored real easy- I am such an a*s)

      Hannah turned her head in my direction. She smiled while twisting her neck, then said “ Good Morning, Jack.”

             “ Mornin’ Hannah” I replied.

         She started to walk out of the stall, then asked “ How long have you been up Jack?”

             “Oh a couple of hours, I heard singing coming from the house, so I went to see who was causing the ruckus. I found Rufus laying out on the porch. He says the Princess is up and seems fine. Could be, but she’s had a habit of pushing herself.

You have that note, and thought she should read it right away!” I replied.

       I clopped into the front of the house, while Hannah sauntered like a ballet dancer. She began to neigh loudly, letting the Princess know she was here. The Princess came waddling out of her home.

       “ My oh my what have we here. Jack who’s your new friend?” the Princess exclaimed loudly.

        Then Hannah gracefully turned so the Princess could see the note hanging off her mane. The Princess took it, thanked the horse then waddled over to the chair on the porch. 'Creeeaak' went the chair as the Princess plopped down. Hanna looked over at Jack and noticed him cringing. He was unsure if the chair could hold her enormous weight. Yet it surprisingly did!

       As the Princess sat, she slowly began to unfold the note. It read:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Princess,

I am sorry I had to depart your lovely company. But Royal duties must be done first as you well know. Since I can’t be there to help you out, I am sending you this horse. Her name is Hannah, and she will serve you well. In big bold underlined letters, it said: DO NOT SEND HER BACK TO ME! I beg of you, under no circumstances.

Even though Jack can do a fine job, he can’t be expected to carry you, and the items you buy. You can ride Hannah, and Jack can carry your purchases. In time you will come to love this filly, as you have done with all your animals. It’s good that you have them to keep you company, especially since I had to go away.

I will return when my royal duties ease up. I do care for you and hope this hasn’t given you any distress from my leaving. Do give Jack, Rufus and Katie a pat on the head for me. And tell Billy �" stay out of the royal gardens or we shall have a royal meal out of his body. ( just kidding, but don’t tell him that)

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

       The Princess stopped reading, looked up to see Billy coming out of the barn. Replying heartily at the sight of her by bleating loudly. But what Hannah, Rufus and I heard was “ Hey look who’s still among the living.”

         Hannah seemed to be amused at Billy's remark. Rufus rolled over exposing his belly in a most obnoxious way. He does that to mostly annoy Billy, yet it really grossed out the new filly.

               She neighed really loud as if shocked by the sight. She didn't notice but the old dog grinned thinking to himself ' I still got it �" the factor to shock the ladies!'

        As Billy walked up next to me, he looked over and saw the Princess reading the note. “ hrmph” he said as he looked up at me. We all wondered what it said, but waited patiently for her to finish the whole letter. That's if she bothers reading the rest of it! Right now she seems to be sitting there staring off into space.

           I began to wonder what else he had written, and whether she would like what he had to say. This last time she binged for weeks, sunk into a deep depression and subsequently fell sick. For a long time the Princess just sat there.

           Then finally she folded the letter without finishing it. As she tried to get up from the chair her fat a*s is stuck! Billy began to laugh; Hannah put her head down at the sight of her being stuck. I just stood there with my mouth gapping open.

       She finally wriggled her a*s out of the chair, then looked at Billy and said “ Stop laughing at me Billy, I know some great recipes that use goat meat!”

               He bleated a few times, then turned and ran off. This finally made me laugh out loud, as I saw Billy hightailing it out of there. Katie had come out, which was a welcome distraction. She began her usual brushing up against the Princess' legs.

                 She looked down at the cat, and said “ Oh Katie how are you, my pretty kitty? Are you hungry, I know I am. Let's go inside so I can give you some food, then make a delicious salad for myself. I realize I need to lose some of the excess baggage I have, and maybe I wont get stuck in that chair outside.

      So Katie and the Princess went inside, and the singing began once again. Hanna and I stood there for a long time. ( actually I dozed off- I am such an a*s)

  Then Hannah turned and asked “ How about we go eat ourselves, then you can show me around?”

          I said happily “ Okay!”

        As we walked back to the barn, she replied “ I know you snuck out early to take your leave..... sorry about laughing before.”

    I turned and looked at her with my mouth hanging open.

        Hannah just smiled as we entered the barn.

Author's Note

someday I may draw a picture for this story......

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A barn yard filled with characters. I like the story. You made me smile this early morning. I like the Princess and Hanna. They are direct and to the point. A interesting tale. Thank you.
Coyote