The Three Evil Pigs & The Big Dead Wolf

Another Fairytale gone bad when the Pigs seek revenge on the Big Bad Wolf!

             

         The Three Evil Pigs

                    &

         The Big Dead Wolf

Ever since the big bad wolf ate their father which in turn killed their mother, evil flashed in the hearts of the 3 Pig Brothers. John Pig being the oldest, vowed to seek revenge on the lone wolf. Along with his brothers, who now lived with him just couldn't take the antics of the big, bad wolf!

John replied viciously “ I will take and skin alive that worthless hairy beast!”

James Pig, the 2^nd brother pondered a bit, then asked “ But John how do you propose to do that? We have to catch that hairy beast first.”

From the corner of the room, you could hear this incessant screeching of a knife being sharpened. The Pig Brothers were fantastic butchers, so they had a sharpening wheel in the kitchen to keep all their knives as sharp as they could be.

Screech............screech............ screech......

The youngest of the Pig Brothers had already been getting his large butcher knife as sharp as it needed to be. A sinister grin came across his face while he worked on the blade.

“ Ah. I see we are all in agreement about doing away with the big bad wolf!” John replied as he looked at his brother that they called Silent Bob. Again a sinister grin came over his face, he wasn't much into speaking -yet they knew what he was saying by the look in his eyes. While at the sharpening wheel, he stopped and after plucking a hair out of his chin he split it two halves with the blade of the knife. Silent Bob looked up at his brother's again grinning, an evil look came over his face and his eyes shown a crimson color. The essence of pure evil emanated from the very core of Silent Bob's being.

“ My brothers, now let's devise a plan to rid the earth of this vile creature! We will make boots and coats from his skin; and eat a hearty meal from his flesh. Then leave the bones for the vultures to devour what is left, if anything!” John replied sadistically as he spoke to his brothers.

Again Silent Bob went back to his sharpening of the knives. He left the major details to his brothers, since they were smarter at planning things. He wanted to be the one who gutted the wolf, especially since his house of straw was the first to be blown down. He may not have constructed his house as soundly as they did, but it was his home!

John and James began to make a list of supplies they would need for the daunting task! John wrote down on a piece of paper:

1. Large knife ( or several) but very, very sharp!

2. Some heavy ropes ( for hanging and binding)

3. Buckets for blood

4. A rack for drying the wolves hide on

5. Containers to hold the pieces of flesh & entrails

6. A box for holding his bones after dissecting

7. Eat a hearty meal!!!!

When James glanced up and looked over the list, he shook his head and said “ Excellent, looks good John!”

He then directed his eyes over at Silent Bob, and saw that he was intently sharpening all the knives in the house of bricks. Silent Bob stopped and slowly looked up at his brothers........... then after a few seconds smiled an evil grin. Then with the blade of the knife, he pointed to his teeth as if saying 'don't forget the wolves teeth!”

John wickedly laughed, then said “ Ah yes my brother, good thinking. Silent Bob is right, we could save the teeth for jewelry. What about the claws?”

Silent Bob fished around in his tool box, pulling out a pair of needle nose pliers. While holding them up, he was grinning that evil grin he now developed.

“ Oh you have become a truly evil, evil pig with nothing but downright cruelty in your heart, my younger brother!” James laughingly said.

All three Pig Brothers began to guffaw and snort until tears ran down their cheeks. Soon they calmed down, and sat smirking at one another. Each knew they would enjoy the task, and would never forget what they had accomplished.

Finally John Pig exclaimed to the others “ No more will we dine on bread and measly bowls of fruit. Now let's get down to the business of doing away with the hairy beast. Then we can have ourselves a proper feast for dinner! We know he will return tomorrow to try and blow my fine house down again. So we shall set a trap to catch him, then our evil brother Silent Bob can gut and bleed him out!”

John slapped Silent Bob on the back as he saw evil glistening in his eyes, and a sinister grin come over his face.

James slapped his hand on the table, then replied “ Let's eat our last meatless meal, then set the trap. The wolf doesn't realize Bob & I are here, so we'll let you do all the talking John.” He looked over at Silent Bob and saw him shaking his head in agreement.

“ Well so far the wolf has attempted to blow my house down at least ten times without success. But this will be his last time, and I will do my best to lure him up to the doorstep for his final blow. Instead of him being a big blowhard- we Pig Brothers will get revenge on him with a final death blow!” John said defiantly to his brothers.

They soon finished there meal, and as James cleaned up Silent Bob went back to sharpening the rest of their knives. John went to gather enough rope for trapping, and binding the wolves paws together. He debated on whether they needed one for his mouth. But then thought it would thrill Bob, hearing the screams coming from the wolf! That would be the ultimate revenge after he scared Bob into silence forever.

Bob Pig had been the runt of the family, so he was a very timid Pig in the beginning. But he soon lost his voice after the Hairy Wolf started torturing him. Little by little he pretended to blow Bob's house of straw down. One day when Bob heard the Wolf inhale really loud, and before he could exhale he climbed out the window and ran to his brothers house of sticks. He thought that his would have been constructed more soundly than his.

When the Wolf didn't find the Pig brother in the shambles of straw, he figured he went to the house of his brothers. The Wolf being tired went home for a small bite of rabbit meat he had leftover from the night before. While sitting and thinking about how he would pay a visit to the 2^nd pigs house, he soon fell asleep. He dreamed about having a good meal with the pigs meat, then getting some fat on his scraggly bones. By the time he woke up it was dark outside, so he puttered around his cave for awhile. Then went out to the local watering hole for a big drink of water. It seemed all that huffing and puffing left his throat parched and dry. He wanted to be ready for tomorrow, a day of blowing the 2^nd pigs house down.

For a whole week he pretended to be blowing the second Pig brothers house down. Then when he felt that they were scared enough, he inhaled a big deep breath of air............ then expended all of it. The house of sticks came crashing down and into a large pile. Again while the wolf was busy with his huffing and puffing, the two Pig Brothers went out the back just in time. Soon they were running off to the 3^rd brothers house. Panting they tried to catch their breaths to tell him what had just happened to their houses. He assured them that they would be safe inside his house of bricks. Which brought them a great sigh of relief, and each thanked the eldest Pig Brother!

Time went by as they settled into living together again. Reminiscing of the old days, one remembered what their dear own mother said on her death bed “ There will be strength in numbers, since you are brothers so you should stick together!”

But as you know young pigs can be a little stubborn, and choose to not heed a parents warning. Each of the Pig Brothers preferred to live on his own, instead of sharing a dwelling. Now due to the actions of the big, bad wolf they are back under the same roof and a collective unit of three.

For days the wolf had terrorized the 3^rd Pig Brother in his house of bricks. Not knowing that the other two brothers had moved in, and soon the three plotted to kill the hairy beast! The Pig Brothers had things set in place- the trap to catch the hairy wolf was ready. The first pig had been cutting up vegetables for a stew in preparation of putting wolf meat inside it. James, the 2^nd brother found the two buckets in which to put the wolves blood into and set them aside. He figured that they would worry about what they could do with the nasty liquid later.

Soon John Pig yelled “ It's time!”

The wolf had arrived, and once again began his speech “ Little Pig, little pig, come out, come out or I'll huff and I'll puff and blow your house down!”

John quickly replied “ NO, not by the hairs on my chinny-chin chin!”

In which the Wolf replied back exasperated “ Now you know that I huffed and puffed and blew your two brothers houses down. I shall do the same to yours, then I will boil you to death and eat you for supper.”

John Pig smartly answered back to the wolf, “ Well then come as close as you dare- for you will not blow my house of bricks down!”

He then looked over at his brothers who were at the ready. Instead of being hog-tied, they would string and tie up the wolf- then kill him! So the wolf came closer, and bellowed again.

“ I'll huff and I'll puff and blow your crummy house down.” the wolf yelled.

Again John told him, “ Come closer you big bad wolf, come near my doorstep and give it your best shot! Ya big blow hard, see if you can blow my house down.”

The arrogant wolf began to walk up to the door, and just as he was about to speak he was caught in there trap. As he found himself being pulled upside down, he had hit his head and was knocked unconscious. John opened his door and quickly bound his front paws. Silent Bob had grabbed his sharp butcher knife, and began to slit the wolves neck. Not even waiting for his brother James to fetch the buckets to catch the blood. James although was at the ready and placed it under the wolf just in the nick of time. They didn't need any blood mucking up the doormat that they saved from their mothers house.

The process of skinning the wolf took two hours, and the wolf was still knocked out. As the last of the blood was draining out, he came to long enough to see all three Pig Brothers wielding sharp blades. They were in the process of cutting and gutting his body. Good thing he died before Silent Bob sliced open his gut and began removing his entrails one by one.

With the skins draped over a homemade drying rack, Silent Bob proceeded to take the tip of his favorite knife and cut out the heart of the wolf. Like a surgeon he meticulously dissected the wolf. Then James cut the legs off one by one, setting them aside to put in the pot of stew. John stoked the fire under the pot, then took the needle nose pliers and yanked the claws out of the wolves paws. He felt invigorated, and for each one he pulled out he got a sense of revenge on the worthless hairy beast. One claw for every single person from his family that was killed by the beast.

He looked up and saw his brothers, they each had a glimmer of evil in their eyes. He smiled at them, and as he went to yank the last claw out, he said “ This is for you my dear brother, and I know you would say 'Thank You' back but can't”

James Pig walked up and started putting the pieces of the wolves legs into the pot, and said “ Yes we have finally rid this valley of the vicious hairy beast. And soon we shall eat a hearty meal, and celebrate!”

Silent Bob squeaked out “ good riddance.”

When John and James heard that, they began to snort with laughter. And Silent Bob just grinned that evil grin he came to have. And the Pig Brothers lived happily evil after!

The end...........or is it?

Author's Note

Enjoy my version of this fairytale!

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well I must say that was quite the creative spin on the fairy tale, now that is what i call revenge... a very dark and edgy piece, I like that.

[Crowley]

LOL....nice J. this a very dark indeed, who knew that pigs were good butchers, I doubt they eat bacon. Nice ride Girly Q!

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing tale, way better then my version of the three little pigs.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

P.S. We don't even eat pork! lol lol

[Fabian G. Franklin]

LMAO! This was darkly hilarious!!!! I love it! Oh, crap, now I have to post my little red riding hood piece where the wolf is wrongly accused and is really just a lonely sweetheart like me. lol