Oscar's Take on Earth's Woes

A humorous story on what an alien observes happening on our planet.

 

 

 

                          Oscar's Take on Earth's Woes

 

Good Day, Earthlings!

 

                            It is I, your favorite alien...... or should I say only alien, Oscar!

 

                  I know you missed me so much, but I do have a life. I mean outside of coming down to this lowly planet to observe the constant insanity. I do have other planets to check out, and oh la la those hotties on Venus. They make all the models on Earth look like rag muffins.

 

                      But this time of the year, seems to be even crazier for you humans. You sing and talk about being jolly- yet all I see is just the opposite happening. People shooting people, burning down houses, running cars off the road. And need I say more about the money that's been spent- on trees, decorations, lights, not to mention all the gifts being bought. Some of which break within days of being opened by numerous children. Might as well give the kids cardboard boxes- then you're not out that much money. And some can save the cardboard for a future home, ha ha.

 

                                    What is it you people say “ tis the season to be jolly?”

 

               I say “ bah humbug” to all of you humans that waste time celebrating that holiday. I bet your asking “ why do I say that, hmmm?” Well, on my planet (that shall remain nameless.) Mainly because we don't want the likes of you coming and mucking things up. That's what your fellow earthlings say in that country called England. It means messing things up.......... which is what you have done with your planet for decades.

 

                 Everyday you mess it up more and more. And you wonder why your weather is so freaky all the time. One day it's nice, and the next cold, wet, and sometimes flooding. And snowing in places that never, ever see those pretty white flakes! Isn't life just grandiose on your once lovely planet.........

 

                                .......... after all you lowly earthlings have done nothing but trash it.

 

 

               Well, it's that time again........ now what was that saying by that superhero you called Superman?

 

 

                          UP, UP AND AWAY...............

 

 

               this is Oscar signing off once again....

 

 

                      ......... oh see you next time I am in your galaxy!

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I like that the alien is particularly fond of the English and has read Charles Dickens. lol This was great Jen, so glad to read your work again.