My Pain Inside

 

 

My pain inside

 

 

 

 

Am I corrupt?

Shall I erupt?

 

The pain I take

is not all fake

 

at times its bad

so I get real mad

 

I try being patient

stopping to smell the scent

 

of a single rose

and reading a prose

 

to hide the hurt

my body spurts

 

in small doses

like pricks from roses

 

the pill I take

cuts like a rake

 

into the stabs & pangs

as my head bangs

Reviews

[OkieWonKenokie]

A simple write, but I can relate. At times I feel that way. I love the rhyming in this. Great write Girl.

[Ivory]

its a simple piece,though i think more can be done with it.
The flow was good.
Good write... ; )

[Lori]

This is very poignant. I think the simple structure and child-like rhymes (although the vocabulary is more adult) really add to the helplessness feel of this. I like the subtitle you have of "My Pain Inside" for it, or you could make it more vague with just "Inside". In any case, I love the poem.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow Jen a moving piece indeed... trying to do anything to forget the pain... I don't even know what else to say cause this piece really moved me.