The candy store

reposting

 

 

  The Candy

 

              Alexandria was a devious conniving witch, but she was my friend. There were times she made me feel as if I was crazy, and other times filled with confusion. I wasn't sure if she was truly my friend at all. See she changed after I was almost sent to prison. Alexandria tried to make out that she was the same person, but things were different.

 

          I could have been sent to jail on a simple charge of shoplifting.  I wanted to make sure we had enough candy to hand out during Halloween. So I nonchalantly walked into the Super J Market pretending to buy something. I wore a large sweatshirt, baggy pants, enough room to hide a couple of bags of candy.

 

       Immediately targeted, someone was watching me. They don't care for someone who is poor, and dresses like a slob. Well that's what I thought at least. As I saw someone following me down the aisle, I abruptly turned around and said, “ Hey sir, where do you keep the packages of prophylactics?”

 

           I figured that would get him off my tail, plus seeing his face turn  several shades of red was real fun. He immediately turned away with a bright red face, as I laughed out loud. Then I proceeded to head for the magazine counter to pick up the latest issue of Playboy magazine. They always had it in handy reach for anyone to browse through. As I was thumbing through the issue, I heard women walking in, saying “how disgusting” or “ Oh my word!” I bet they didn't know that their husbands kept one hidden - what a bunch of prudes! 

 

           As I was eying a shot of a female's torso on the centerfold, the Preacher's wife walked in. I looked over and said, “Good Morning, Ma'am!”

As I showed her the picture on the centerfold, I said, “ Now isn't this a vision of loveliness, isn't God's creation beautiful?” Of course, she turned away in a huff, and I went back to looking at the rest of the magazine.

 

 Having my fill of lovely ladies, I went back to the task at hand.

 

           The candy!

 

        They're right where all the workers can see them, in case some kids come up and try to steal. Just then my diversion came in the store..........

              .....Alexandria!  

      She came in yelling she got some poison by a gummy panda that was given to her as a gift. As I pinched a couple of bags of candy, She said “ Oh wait, maybe it was that spider I picked up from the gutter!”

 

         While they were all busy with Alexandria, I walked out and began thinking ' She may drive me insane some of the time, but our friendship is timeless!'