White Flag

A poem of a struggle with depression.

Each day is a battle. 

A war. 

Each day I must fight. 

I must fight to survive. 

I used to be a solider. 

Fighting the same war as the rest of my troop. 

I used to be a part of a team. 

Today, I am a solider fighting alone. 

Today, I am in a war with myself. 

Fighting myself. 

Each day is a struggle to stay alive. 

A fight to save myself. 

I stand of the front line, alone. 

Dodging each bullet as it torpedoes towards my body. 

Everyday now, I am hit. 

I am hit with a bullet 

Or I am stabbed with a knife. 

My breathing slows, 

My heart stops

And for a second I feel relief, 

I don’t have to fight anymore 

And then I remember, 

I remember what it was like when I didn’t have to fight alone

When I wasn’t the only solider. 

And I remember what it was like to feel alive. 

That is when I begin to breath again, 

And my heart begins to beat. 

Each day is a battle to survive, 

Because each day I am reminded of the feeling of relief, 

Surrendering. 

Each day it seems easier and easier to just give up. 

To wave the white flag.

But each day I must fight. 

Each day is a battle. 

A war 

Each day I must fight 

I must fight to survive.