Never without Him!

A woman's efforts to save her son under cancer's threat.

Jack rolled his eyes toward the window to his left from the ceiling where he was

watching some instances falling into the days when he used to bike-race with his

friends.

 

When he turned his head to the side of the single window of his room, a stream of

tears finally found a way to trickle down after a long wait at the edge of his left

eye.  In order to get rid of the remaining tears in his eyes, it dawned on him that it

was a better idea to rub his face against the pillow which his head rested on than

pulling his hand out of the blanket.

 

It was 3:00 am in the morning; and he felt hardship in sleeping back in his bed. He

hated to stay in bed since it was the only spot he used to spend his day except the

bathroom. He could not manage to get a sense out of all what is happening to him

ever since the day he slipped in the bathroom. He was only 11. After he fell in the

tub, his mom, Jessica rushed into the bathroom to see him lying in pain. His mom

felt her guts crumpled once she realized there was a lump on his leg.

 

Jack was exhausted through the blood tests and many exams following his fall in the

bathroom. Not so long was he diagnosed to be a bone cancer. Neither doctors nor his

family were comfortable with telling him of what had happened.

 

His mom was a teacher in a downtown kindergarten. She used to think she could not

assign sufficient time to care Jack. This last discovery of his son’s situation made

her feel guiltier. After the diagnosis was confirmed by another specialized doctor,

the first thing she decided was to quit teaching and staying by his son.

 

Jessica was pretending to look happy each time she entered Jack’s room. She thought

this would have positive effect on Jack. She used to say in her talks with her friends

that joy was contagious just like sadness.

 

Jessica lost her husband when he died of lung cancer. Then Jack was five. She heard

that cancer might be hereditary; but she never thought it could happen to her only 11

year old boy.  It needs to mention it was not proved that jack’s problem occurred

because of hereditary reasons. However, Jessica thought so. After her husband’s

death, she engrossed in her job and his son. She did not even go out with someone to

spend her free time with his son. Jack was the life itself to her, and now life was

splitting up with her step by step. She was trying to be strong and not to give in.

Honestly, she had no other choice to take. Nevertheless, she could hardly command

her mind not to stop asking why.

 

She started to smoke after many years. Earlier, she used to smoke at college mostly

for fun. She also felt it was helping to forget. What's weird was she has always been

scrupulous about Jack’s diet. She never used to let him eat junk food stuff and drink

something with artificial ingredients. She believed healthy eating had brought along

a healthy life. All what happened made her start believing in the idea that death was

not  something you could avert once it knocked on your door; and  all otherwise is

bullshit!

 

She went out to the balcony to smoke. After she threw away the cigarette stub to her

garden, she headed back to Jack’s room to check if he was sleeping. That was just

before Jack swerved his face toward the window. When her mom closed the door, she

was not aware he was crying in all his quietness.

 

It was around 4:15 am when long and violent coughs woke Jessica up.  She jumped

out of her bed to Jack’s room. She grabbed him on the shoulders and made him sit

upright.  All the bed sheet and blanket were smeared with the blood he was coughing

up.  Jack was shaken with long suffocated coughs for a bout ten minutes. Jessica was

in total helplessness trying to help calm down. In a moment she thought Jack seemed

to pull himself together, she ran to her room to pick up her cell phone. Once she

come back, Jack looked a little better. At least he ceased to cough out. Jessica tried

to speak to him while she was dialing Frank’s phone.  Shortly, Frank’s voice was

heard on the cell phone. Jessica dashed out of the room since she did not want Jack

to see her speaking to Frank in her poor bare fright.

 

 

Her voice wobbled on the phone: ”Frank! I don’t know what to do. Please come here

right now. I’m so scared. Cos, I can do nothing to help him. My boy is melting away

before my eyes”

 

Frank: “Okay! I’m on my way. Just stay with him. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

 

Frank Carlisle was the doctor who first delivered care to Jack once he was

hospitalized after the  accident in the bathroom. Jack stayed at the hospital for

almost one week. Jessica wanted to take care of him at her home. Frank told her he’d

better stay at the hospital. Nevertheless, Jessica convinced him that she would care

him better than any nurse once home. As a matter of fact, Frank had a crush on

Jessica. Jessica, in her early thirties was tall and blonde. She had a never-dying

smiley face emitting around a friendly character image. That was pretty enough for

Frank to think about her more than other women.

 

When Frank showed up in Jack’s room, he saw the boy was already asleep. Frank felt

his pulse. His face did not reveal any clue to Jessica while he was listening to his

lungs with a stethoscope. After he was done with what he had needed to, he turned to

Jessica and said in a worried tone: ”We should take him to the clinic.”

Jessica: ”What’s wrong with him?”

 

Frank: ”I donno! But we have to keep him under observation.” Frank noticed Jessica

was trying to stay strong; she hid her tears from Frank. He was also upset with the

situation which Jessica was going through. He stepped ahead to say a few soothing

words. “Jessica, it’ll be fine! Don’t worry!” Jessica nodded father she wiped her tears

away with her hand. ”I know. OK, let’s take him to the clinic then”

 

In early hours of the morning, the ambulance brought Jack into the clinic on a

suburban area of the city; out of the way and quiet.

 

Jack got more pale under respiratory equipment with his eyes closed and his mouth

hid in the breathing device.

 

Jessica already set next to his bed took it as a defeat against this damned sickness.

The last thing she wanted to see was that his little son was attached back to all this

medical stuff after she had him at home in hopes of a speedy recovery.

 

She was running her fingers through his hair when he opened his eyes,

Jason smiled at his mom once he opened his eyes. He seemed to have pain even while

smiling. He opened his mouth and said: “Mom, take me home. I hate it here!” Jessica

got up from her chair and stretched her head over his face; She said in all her

affection: “I will baby...I will…don’t worry OK?”

Jason: “Mom I wanna walk by myself…Do you think if I can?”

Jessica: “Sure, sweetheart!  We'll even bike together.”

 

Jason’s eyes let out the tears down his cheeks. Jessica wiped them all; they were

warm.  Obviously, he was trying to say a few words more; but something was keeping

him from doing that! He gave it up eventually. Jessica got out of the room and

rushed to the ladies’ room. She got in the first vacant booth; knelt down and no

sooner had she put her head over the closet than she threw up aloud. Next, her loud

crying followed on. She never felt so helpless before.  She must’ve done something to

save her son. She did not know how! If only she had known somebody who could

help. Everything was like a joke to her. She stopped; looked up; she noticed how

powerfully the bulb was lighting up the cabin.  She thought that was exactly what she

had needed. It’s an absolute and unquestionable power.

 

“Oh, God! Gimme the power what I need! You are the only one who can help…You

know I’m over the edge of the cliff; I need you to resist that call! I cannot let

everything go on this way! I need your help,” she said in an exhausted way.

 

When she was back from the bathroom, the room was full of people and they were

giving shock on Jason’s chest. She screamed out Jason’s name and ran to him; Jason

was unconscious without any move. He was not doing anything; not even taking any

breath. One of the doctors shouted: “Take the mom outta here!” He has repeated

again: “I said take her out!” Jessica was resisting against the nurses to stay in. Her

bitter and shrill shouts could be heard all around the floor;”Jasoooon! don’t go

baby…Gimme my Jason back!”

 

 

It was dead calm in the room where she opened her eyes into a vast void. Her eyes

were wide open giving no clue why they looked without any feeling. She did not

remember anything regarding what had happened 12 hours ago. She turned her head

without haste to Frank who kept calling her name for last five minutes. Her

dumbness was due to heavy dose of tranquilizers she had. ”Jessica! Do you hear me?”

asked again Frank. Yes, Jessica was hearing whatever he said; but she did not want

to reply without any reason; maybe she was in a calmness she was looking for many

months after Jason grew the sickness. Her tongue was swollen and she did not feel

the enough strength to roll it into releasing meaningful words. She fell back asleep.

She saw Frank snoring this time in the chair next to her bed once she had opened her

blue eyes. It should be late night since all around was in darkness. This time she

remembered everything passed last night. She sat upright in her bed as soon as

Jason’s face showed up on her mind. She wanted to stand on her feet; she could not

do it; she should have had heavy drug she was moving very slowly; she clutched at

Frank’s jacket pushing Frank to wake up. “Jessica,” said Frank and continued; “Are

you feeling okay?”

 

 

Jessica stared at Frank and asked: “Tell me Jason is okay. He’s okay right?” Frank

replied in determination: “Let’s talk about it later. You still need to rest.” Jessica

was sobbing: “Frank! Is he dead?”

 

Frank took pains at not giving any emotion into his voice: “Jessica! I told you it’s

not good time to talk about it. Now please have some more sleep!”

 

Jessica has put on a serious look all of a sudden. “I need to go to bathroom,” she

said. The bathroom was just to the left of the entrance door. She took slow steps to

there. When she arrived at the bathroom’s door; in an unexpected agility, she turned

to the room’s door and ran into the hallway. Frank has dashed to stop her. Jessica

saw her room number was 505. Jason was staying in room # 307. That meant she

needed to take the elevator to go 2 floors down. She in her patient suit was pretty

noticeable. She got a corner in the elevator next to a nurse gazing at her with

suspicion. She pounced out of the elevator when the light indicator shoed the

3^rd floor.

 

 

Shortly, she reached the door of the room# 307. She threw a quick look at the inside

through the square window. Jason was not there. Actually, the room was unoccupied.

The entire goings were pushing her to face the stinging truth. Frank grabbed her on

the shoulders before she turned. She wanted to escape. Frank shook her and said:

“Jessica…Jessica…calm down…Yes, he’s in eternal peace now. Jessica turned her face

at Frank and swung her head from side to side in disbelief. Frank nodded; she had

burst into tears while Frank pressed her to his chest condoling with her.

 

 

It was almost dark and Robert was heading down the hill with his buddy, Clown. “We

could not find any turkeys today,” said Robert in disappointment. When they

appeared before a deserted house, Robert decided to give a break. He unloaded all

the gear on him the tale in the kitchen. It was close to impossible to see around in

the kitchen due to spider webs. He let Clown stay outside to watch around the house.

He opened a can that would be their dinner. It was embarrassing to be left with a can

instead of a turkey after a long hunting day. Of course he would not talk about it to

his friends when he got back to the town. He was started with long quick and

annoying barking of Clown. It was a grey weimaraner perfect at hunting. He grabbed

his shotgun and went outside. Clown was barking in a short and continues way as

obviously annoyed by something. He patted and scratched the dog’s head to cal it

down. “Easy boy….Easy…” Clown was running around circling itself. It was trying to

tell something to Robert. Clown started digging up the soil. He was pointing to that

spot. Robert understood something buried under the soil was the source driving

Clown crazy. He ran to the hut across the house where he saw a shovel. He started

digging up the soil.

 

 

The sheriff and the deputy were driving their cars uphill in order to respond to

Robert’s call.  Sheriff Jackson had difficulty in calming down Robert on the cell

phone. Robert was begging Sheriff to come to the deserted house to the west of

Vernon Hills. He was trembling with shock he was going through after he found in

the garden of the house. It was 5 to 10 pm when the Sherriff and the deputy met

Robert whose nose and mouth was covered with a piece of cloth at the spot. Robert

started telling how he discovered what made him stammer in his talk. The Sherriff

with his face covered with a bandana called the headquarters; he was trying to speak

in a tamed tone with failures: “Sheryl! Send two ambulances here real quick…you got

it? Real quick!”

 

 

The following day, the Courier, the only newspaper of the town headlined the news in

large print: “The Sherriff Finds Corpses of A woman and A Boy!” The news story

continued: “The woman found as she hugged his son in the grave is thought to be

‘Jessica Reniger’ who disappeared 17 years ago. She was reported to be lost after her

son had passed away of cancer at the Town Hospital. Their position in the grave

called for an outside help to cover the grave. Now, everybody is asking who helped

that woman to be buried in the same grave and how?”

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

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