Never without Him!A Story by junateA woman's efforts to save her son under cancer's threat.Jack rolled his eyes toward the window to his left from the ceiling where he was watching some instances falling into the days when he used to bike-race with his friends.
When he turned his head to the side of the single window of his room, a stream of tears finally found a way to trickle down after a long wait at the edge of his left eye. In order to get rid of the remaining tears in his eyes, it dawned on him that it was a better idea to rub his face against the pillow which his head rested on than pulling his hand out of the blanket.
It was 3:00 am in the morning; and he felt hardship in sleeping back in his bed. He hated to stay in bed since it was the only spot he used to spend his day except the bathroom. He could not manage to get a sense out of all what is happening to him ever since the day he slipped in the bathroom. He was only 11. After he fell in the tub, his mom, Jessica rushed into the bathroom to see him lying in pain. His mom felt her guts crumpled once she realized there was a lump on his leg.
Jack was exhausted through the blood tests and many exams following his fall in the bathroom. Not so long was he diagnosed to be a bone cancer. Neither doctors nor his family were comfortable with telling him of what had happened.
His mom was a teacher in a downtown kindergarten. She used to think she could not assign sufficient time to care Jack. This last discovery of his son’s situation made her feel guiltier. After the diagnosis was confirmed by another specialized doctor, the first thing she decided was to quit teaching and staying by his son.
Jessica was pretending to look happy each time she entered Jack’s room. She thought this would have positive effect on Jack. She used to say in her talks with her friends that joy was contagious just like sadness.
Jessica lost her husband when he died of lung cancer. Then Jack was five. She heard that cancer might be hereditary; but she never thought it could happen to her only 11 year old boy. It needs to mention it was not proved that jack’s problem occurred because of hereditary reasons. However, Jessica thought so. After her husband’s death, she engrossed in her job and his son. She did not even go out with someone to spend her free time with his son. Jack was the life itself to her, and now life was splitting up with her step by step. She was trying to be strong and not to give in. Honestly, she had no other choice to take. Nevertheless, she could hardly command her mind not to stop asking why.
She started to smoke after many years. Earlier, she used to smoke at college mostly for fun. She also felt it was helping to forget. What's weird was she has always been scrupulous about Jack’s diet. She never used to let him eat junk food stuff and drink something with artificial ingredients. She believed healthy eating had brought along a healthy life. All what happened made her start believing in the idea that death was not something you could avert once it knocked on your door; and all otherwise is bullshit!
She went out to the balcony to smoke. After she threw away the cigarette stub to her garden, she headed back to Jack’s room to check if he was sleeping. That was just before Jack swerved his face toward the window. When her mom closed the door, she was not aware he was crying in all his quietness.
It was around 4:15 am when long and violent coughs woke Jessica up. She jumped out of her bed to Jack’s room. She grabbed him on the shoulders and made him sit upright. All the bed sheet and blanket were smeared with the blood he was coughing up. Jack was shaken with long suffocated coughs for a bout ten minutes. Jessica was in total helplessness trying to help calm down. In a moment she thought Jack seemed to pull himself together, she ran to her room to pick up her cell phone. Once she come back, Jack looked a little better. At least he ceased to cough out. Jessica tried to speak to him while she was dialing Frank’s phone. Shortly, Frank’s voice was heard on the cell phone. Jessica dashed out of the room since she did not want Jack to see her speaking to Frank in her poor bare fright.
Her voice wobbled on the phone: ”Frank! I don’t know what to do. Please come here right now. I’m so scared. Cos, I can do nothing to help him. My boy is melting away before my eyes”
Frank: “Okay! I’m on my way. Just stay with him. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
Frank Carlisle was the doctor who first delivered care to Jack once he was hospitalized after the accident in the bathroom. Jack stayed at the hospital for almost one week. Jessica wanted to take care of him at her home. Frank told her he’d better stay at the hospital. Nevertheless, Jessica convinced him that she would care him better than any nurse once home. As a matter of fact, Frank had a crush on Jessica. Jessica, in her early thirties was tall and blonde. She had a never-dying smiley face emitting around a friendly character image. That was pretty enough for Frank to think about her more than other women.
When Frank showed up in Jack’s room, he saw the boy was already asleep. Frank felt his pulse. His face did not reveal any clue to Jessica while he was listening to his lungs with a stethoscope. After he was done with what he had needed to, he turned to Jessica and said in a worried tone: ”We should take him to the clinic.” Jessica: ”What’s wrong with him?”
Frank: ”I donno! But we have to keep him under observation.” Frank noticed Jessica was trying to stay strong; she hid her tears from Frank. He was also upset with the situation which Jessica was going through. He stepped ahead to say a few soothing words. “Jessica, it’ll be fine! Don’t worry!” Jessica nodded father she wiped her tears away with her hand. ”I know. OK, let’s take him to the clinic then”
In early hours of the morning, the ambulance brought Jack into the clinic on a suburban area of the city; out of the way and quiet.
Jack got more pale under respiratory equipment with his eyes closed and his mouth hid in the breathing device.
Jessica already set next to his bed took it as a defeat against this damned sickness. The last thing she wanted to see was that his little son was attached back to all this medical stuff after she had him at home in hopes of a speedy recovery.
She was running her fingers through his hair when he opened his eyes, Jason smiled at his mom once he opened his eyes. He seemed to have pain even while smiling. He opened his mouth and said: “Mom, take me home. I hate it here!” Jessica got up from her chair and stretched her head over his face; She said in all her affection: “I will baby...I will…don’t worry OK?” Jason: “Mom I wanna walk by myself…Do you think if I can?” Jessica: “Sure, sweetheart! We'll even bike together.”
Jason’s eyes let out the tears down his cheeks. Jessica wiped them all; they were warm. Obviously, he was trying to say a few words more; but something was keeping him from doing that! He gave it up eventually. Jessica got out of the room and rushed to the ladies’ room. She got in the first vacant booth; knelt down and no sooner had she put her head over the closet than she threw up aloud. Next, her loud crying followed on. She never felt so helpless before. She must’ve done something to save her son. She did not know how! If only she had known somebody who could help. Everything was like a joke to her. She stopped; looked up; she noticed how powerfully the bulb was lighting up the cabin. She thought that was exactly what she had needed. It’s an absolute and unquestionable power.
“Oh, God! Gimme the power what I need! You are the only one who can help…You know I’m over the edge of the cliff; I need you to resist that call! I cannot let everything go on this way! I need your help,” she said in an exhausted way.
When she was back from the bathroom, the room was full of people and they were giving shock on Jason’s chest. She screamed out Jason’s name and ran to him; Jason was unconscious without any move. He was not doing anything; not even taking any breath. One of the doctors shouted: “Take the mom outta here!” He has repeated again: “I said take her out!” Jessica was resisting against the nurses to stay in. Her bitter and shrill shouts could be heard all around the floor;”Jasoooon! don’t go baby…Gimme my Jason back!”
It was dead calm in the room where she opened her eyes into a vast void. Her eyes were wide open giving no clue why they looked without any feeling. She did not remember anything regarding what had happened 12 hours ago. She turned her head without haste to Frank who kept calling her name for last five minutes. Her dumbness was due to heavy dose of tranquilizers she had. ”Jessica! Do you hear me?” asked again Frank. Yes, Jessica was hearing whatever he said; but she did not want to reply without any reason; maybe she was in a calmness she was looking for many months after Jason grew the sickness. Her tongue was swollen and she did not feel the enough strength to roll it into releasing meaningful words. She fell back asleep. She saw Frank snoring this time in the chair next to her bed once she had opened her blue eyes. It should be late night since all around was in darkness. This time she remembered everything passed last night. She sat upright in her bed as soon as Jason’s face showed up on her mind. She wanted to stand on her feet; she could not do it; she should have had heavy drug she was moving very slowly; she clutched at Frank’s jacket pushing Frank to wake up. “Jessica,” said Frank and continued; “Are you feeling okay?”
Jessica stared at Frank and asked: “Tell me Jason is okay. He’s okay right?” Frank replied in determination: “Let’s talk about it later. You still need to rest.” Jessica was sobbing: “Frank! Is he dead?”
Frank took pains at not giving any emotion into his voice: “Jessica! I told you it’s not good time to talk about it. Now please have some more sleep!”
Jessica has put on a serious look all of a sudden. “I need to go to bathroom,” she said. The bathroom was just to the left of the entrance door. She took slow steps to there. When she arrived at the bathroom’s door; in an unexpected agility, she turned to the room’s door and ran into the hallway. Frank has dashed to stop her. Jessica saw her room number was 505. Jason was staying in room # 307. That meant she needed to take the elevator to go 2 floors down. She in her patient suit was pretty noticeable. She got a corner in the elevator next to a nurse gazing at her with suspicion. She pounced out of the elevator when the light indicator shoed the 3rd floor.
Shortly, she reached the door of the room# 307. She threw a quick look at the inside through the square window. Jason was not there. Actually, the room was unoccupied. The entire goings were pushing her to face the stinging truth. Frank grabbed her on the shoulders before she turned. She wanted to escape. Frank shook her and said: “Jessica…Jessica…calm down…Yes, he’s in eternal peace now. Jessica turned her face at Frank and swung her head from side to side in disbelief. Frank nodded; she had burst into tears while Frank pressed her to his chest condoling with her.
It was almost dark and Robert was heading down the hill with his buddy, Clown. “We could not find any turkeys today,” said Robert in disappointment. When they appeared before a deserted house, Robert decided to give a break. He unloaded all the gear on him the tale in the kitchen. It was close to impossible to see around in the kitchen due to spider webs. He let Clown stay outside to watch around the house. He opened a can that would be their dinner. It was embarrassing to be left with a can instead of a turkey after a long hunting day. Of course he would not talk about it to his friends when he got back to the town. He was started with long quick and annoying barking of Clown. It was a grey weimaraner perfect at hunting. He grabbed his shotgun and went outside. Clown was barking in a short and continues way as obviously annoyed by something. He patted and scratched the dog’s head to cal it down. “Easy boy….Easy…” Clown was running around circling itself. It was trying to tell something to Robert. Clown started digging up the soil. He was pointing to that spot. Robert understood something buried under the soil was the source driving Clown crazy. He ran to the hut across the house where he saw a shovel. He started digging up the soil.
The sheriff and the deputy were driving their cars uphill in order to respond to Robert’s call. Sheriff Jackson had difficulty in calming down Robert on the cell phone. Robert was begging Sheriff to come to the deserted house to the west of Vernon Hills. He was trembling with shock he was going through after he found in the garden of the house. It was 5 to 10 pm when the Sherriff and the deputy met Robert whose nose and mouth was covered with a piece of cloth at the spot. Robert started telling how he discovered what made him stammer in his talk. The Sherriff with his face covered with a bandana called the headquarters; he was trying to speak in a tamed tone with failures: “Sheryl! Send two ambulances here real quick…you got it? Real quick!”
The following day, the Courier, the only newspaper of the town headlined the news in large print: “The Sherriff Finds Corpses of A woman and A Boy!” The news story continued: “The woman found as she hugged his son in the grave is thought to be ‘Jessica Reniger’ who disappeared 17 years ago. She was reported to be lost after her son had passed away of cancer at the Town Hospital. Their position in the grave called for an outside help to cover the grave. Now, everybody is asking who helped that woman to be buried in the same grave and how?”
© 2012 junateAuthor's Note
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Added on June 25, 2012 Last Updated on June 25, 2012 Tags: cancer kids, cancer awaraness, family trauma |