Narratives of mental isolation (part 1)

First part of a short story (poem) I wrote about a life-story I once was told by a very special girl that really struggled with life. I hope you enjoy. Sincerely yours, Jules.

The path of parchment
How to begin a story?
Some might love
Others might hate
Few may identify themselves
with words that I create

Uncertainty is the paradox of innocence
and yet key to diving into life’s greatest gift
The  warm summer breeze of knowledge
Delivers a brief chill to those who seek the list

The parchment of truth

For love may be magical
but is just a way of feeling
Love may be mystical
a way of feeling less alone
Love may be a result of chemicals
(Dopamine!!!, or maybe the pills take me away from myself!?)
love, the paradox of needing
The parchment
The tombstone

The beauty of questioning
reveals itself after getting answers
The beauty of uncertainty
reveals itself after getting questioned to much
(we’re all actors!)

And so…
Am I uncertain
Am I innocent
Am I love
or, Emma

You’ll never find the truth
For there is none
But never stop seeking
Because it’s the path of parchment

And
They question
And
They answer
But never too much
So they’ll always stay
uncertain

and insecure…

This insecurity,
controlled by chemicals
controlled by love
controlled by pills
controlled by hate
keeps you more human
than human
and you’ll come close to
finding the truth

Reviews

[e_c_polyak]

I REALLY like this. I can here the author's voice throughout the whole poem. It is like a song, I can here every note. (I just noticed you write for your band :P) Please keep writing, I find this beautiful.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Good to read your work...I do feel this needs a run through...you can definitely hear the voice as the read carries you from start to finish...the way this transforms as the reader becomes one with the words...as for the run through...I suggest putting (italics) in areas of the stanzas to give that appeal of the intention you want the reader to reflect...as for the minors here and there...this can better be consumed by the reader...

[DB Heinemann]

Pretty legit piece. I don't know if you've ever heard of sacred geometry but I kind of had that feeling like I was being drawn in these loops and it felt like I was going somewhere but really I was just being put in the intricate circle. It was kind of beautiful in a sad way.
I'm trying to come up with a thing to criticize but I'm having trouble putting it to words. I guess it does come off a little pretentious but that's most poetry filled with a lot of overall metaphors and such. So it's not really a critique.
I dunno. I think I have to read the other parts to get a better sense of it.

[slfisher89]

I love the stream of consciousness; there's an X factor that makes me want to reread it over and over. I like the seamless transition from one speaker to another (wolf whistle) Nice job!

[Muneeb khan]

Great piece of story! It truly demands a man (or woman) to have his heart filled with emotion and a sound mind offor imagination. Keep writing, these verses are inspiring for me at this age (of 14)...

[matrixmark]

How to begin a story...the terror of flashing cursor in front of my eyes with nothing but a blank page - this is what your first line made me think of.

Images, images - is what you left me with.

I know its a short piece which you have written BUT you have shown show much depth in your work.

Mark.

[junXion]

Thank you Mark for your review! If you're interested in this story make sure your read the other parts as well, im still in the proces of finishing this piece but I've uploaded some parts already. Oh and naturally I will read your work too. Sincerely yous, Jules.

[matrixmark]

i am not normally a reader of poetry, I do read the on the odd ocassion but I am glad that I read yours.

I shal be readin some more now.

Mark.

You are welsome with the review, it was my pleasure.

[Lyn Anderson]

Definitely intrigues me and makes me want to follow the story --

[junXion]

Thank you! Be sure to read the other part as I've uploaded a couple already. Sincerely yours, Jules.

[Lyn Anderson]

I intend to.

[ms. barrie]

This is amazing!! I love how your ink dived into the unique perspective of the quixotical melancholy and the feeling of helplessness of the protagonist' s mind.

I don't think I've ever read another write like this one on here
This is a touching, compassionate honesty incorporated through this that is inspiring.
stunning use of imagery as well.

I will be sure to visit the second & third parts,
soon. Thanks for sharing (:

[junXion]

Thank you so much for reading and your positive view on the piece. I have uploaded part 2 and 3 of the story already, be sure to read them if you liked it. In the very near future I will be uploading the following parts. As always, sincerely yours, Jules.

[ms. barrie]

You're welcome!! I'll be back soon to visit them...and comment...
X - barrie