Vampire Chores

To do's

Vampire Chores

 

Igor invited Hazel out one night

The beverage he fed her, tasted so right

But slowly her mind, went on a flight

Until reality, was far out of sight

 

Igor carried her back to his tomb

There he’d make them witch and groom

He wed her near the castle well

But after that, things didn’t go so swell

 

He had to; 

Prepare breakfast each morn

Vacuum each day

Three meals on time,

All work and no play

Tombs needed cleaning,

Let me hear no excuse

Both his ears suffered

From constant abuse

Do the floor mopping,

Wash the car

After doing the dishes,

Clean the wet bar

Bed sheets to wash,

Socks to repair

Clean kitchen cupboards

Vacuum each stair

Wash all the windows

Vacuum the car                                                               Scrub the toilet                                                       

Go get my cigar

Feed the dog

Chop that log

Forget your manhood

You useless no- good

Squeaks make me cringe

Go oil every hinge

Clean the gutters

Don’t lip me back

Then clean the eaves

Get me a quick snack

Cut the grass

Roll up your sleeves    

And rake the leaves

Clean window glass

And the chimney too

When that is all through

Clean up doggy poo

Get off your a*s

Clean the barbecue

And fill my wineglass                            Go prune every  tree                                                   And brew some coffee

Fix that flat tire

You useless vampire

It’s the same old song

Everything you do

Just goes all wrong                                                        But at quarter to ten

Try to scrub the pig pen

Try to let out the cat

And clean the doormat

And then

When you finish food shopping

Start all over again

And while I’m havin a snooze

Stay outa my blue suede shoes                                                                                                                    

                                         

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! WOW! And WOW! You musta had to LIVE thru this to come up with such an extensive to-do list! I love it when a writer packs a poem with vivid details, but here you've crammed it so full, I started to feel like I was the one being henpecked all along! *wink! wink!* Your rhyming is fun & your attitude makes all the difference in such a playful spoof! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[john l smith]

Thanks Margie
I believe he ended up being too hassled to haunt
Thanks for visit
Dave

[barleygirl]

That would be a great title for this: Too Hassled to Haunt!

[Samuel Dickens]

Poor Igor, I wouldn't blame him if he put a little bomb in her cigar. And Hazel, you tyrannical flooz, those aren't even your blasted blue suede shoes! (Someone's gotta take up for that over-worked, disrespected husband of hers) Another great one, my friend.

[john l smith]

Ha ha
A bomb in her cigar
Too funny
Wasn't someone like Laurel and Hardy involved in a skit like that!
Ahdunno!
Thanks for visit
Dave

[john l smith]

Does not want to copy correctly
So solly!