Joyous Labor

a poem shining Light on work

Work all day, every day
Aching and tired down to the soul
Relax in the evening
Wake up and do it again

Joyous pain for a check
And a feeling
Doing it all for the fam
Stays beating stealing

Can't say it is easy
but I
Wouldn't want it any other way
Life is great

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I would say the vast majority of people want to work & love working, no matter if it's their life's passion or some menial job they got on a hope and a prayer. As a disabled person myself, I approach reviewing on this website as if it were a job becuz it feels good to do something meaningful & contributing to humankind. Your poem is attractive becuz you don't complicate life with complex reactions to whatever is going on in life. Life is what it is, I always say, approvingly. If you wanted to branch out & develop your poetry some, I would encourage you to use more sensory imagery . . . that's what's called "SHOW instead of tell" . . . example: instead of saying that you go to work, you show us this by mentioning "punch a clock" or some such iconic image of what it looks like or feels like when you go to work. I used to work for a company that makes salad-in-a-bag, so going to work meant seeing the factory puffing away like an icebox teetering on the edge of freezing as employees did warm-up exercises before going to work in the fridge. These kinds of visual & sensual details make writing come alive. Tell us what it looks like, what it smells like, what it sounds like . . . and so on. Welcome to the cafe. You better post more becuz we hate to see a skimpy list of poems *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[julius_wyann]

This was a great and very well thought out review!! I will be sure to keep your advice in mind in the future. I agree that my poems could use a bit more imagery. I plan on posting every Tuesday, Thursday and possibly Saturday. I also plan on entering some contests

[barleygirl]

Have fun! *smile*