To live in

As memory fades so do the humble encounters. I can only smile in ponder of what the hazes of images left are. I hope time doesn’t wither my soul as I  pretend to be above the average so I can sustain just above and not fall below the average. People stop to speak when I open my mouth. I used to hate it growing up, but now f**k it. I write to progress so I’ll disclaim, my words aren’t meant for an audience but an individual cell. 

Thinking about this everyday stress wears my mental, depression in heavy blue. Call it non-sense or asinine. Slowly pounding my center storm with pen in hand. Unrelenting, I struggle to leave nothing but an open mind. Fame and success now all I need is excess. I wish I could say, but I’m strained in time spent contemplating my manners. I try to manage what profound flash of people now shadows recorded in me like a vinyl. My tongue still far from a platter, but still I write for her. Questioning if she’s the fantasy I want to live in. High off emissions driving despite the traffic in-between. 

Funny how distance brings us closer together but has us farther apart evermore than before. Not really a problem when right by each other we managed to live in a different world while so close together.

Too precious, life is too short to respond half-hearted; let’s not worry about tomorrow but the days after. Hopefully they won’t suck as much. Forget this over violent and hyper sensitive world with ambiguous issues. Getting excited with uncontrollable chills. Let’s get pumped up with unpredictable thrills because step by step we’ll find a solution to the challenge of dreams fleeing reality. 

Time may move against my will, and our kindle may wither. Hell, things may be so obvious of determent like the first shed pedal of a rose looming winter.  Humble smile, humble sign, and no words can be left in departure. So when all is forgotten this upward motion is all what’s needed left.

Big pair of eye’s, big nose, and oversized ears. Crooked are my teeth but bright is my smile. Life is my canvas. You look directly forward toward my temple flushed filled face I become from the insecurities of my scars. My fingers spring, I dab in nervous twitch. Moist palms hold tight by my sides, sweat drips on my brows, In a furrow glistening I am. The sun doesn’t compliment my tone as well as other’s; however … you still stare.

Speaking subliminally thinking ”A story without struggle in triumph. Where’s the glory in that?”. Not into entertaining others but defining myself. There’s beauty in a struggle, is it that ugly and success just go hand in hand. Never won against other’s but still, I got too much to lose if it’s my inner-self. Big pair of eye’s, big nose, and oversized ears. My teeth don’t align right but my smile is still wide.  Anyone can have someone it may not be as obvious as something physical but I bet everyone can relate to in some sense. Never alone in loving one’s self. Waking up with thought in circulation everyone can be that someone because anyone can become a someone. However funny like how life is sometimes, things don’t workout for the best and you have to remember to inhale because like in hell s**t ain't perfect Whether you're too heated and feel like the air is suffocating or she's too cold and has got you in the mood for drowning. Haze me don’t phase me, patriot for the troubled just like me. Explained with series of food in thoughts because pain still lingers in mind.

Big pair of eye’s, big nose, and oversized ears. Crooked are my teeth but I don’t hide my smile with hands. I fit the description so am I a symbol of success if I don’t have eye’s of admiration for my looks but made my ambitions heard of. Who can’t see that? Now I’m, just questioning if you’re the fantasy I want to live in. Even in our stability we fell out of balance into moments of displacement pushed ego’s aside and found solution to our inconsistent collisions.

You shoot someone from the top and the bottom can rise to fill it, you hit someone from the bottom and it only serves to lower moral. Good thing her previous man didn’t know what he had, but now in regret chases what he had passed hmm; however I’m too committed in this position to start acting coward or timid. Despite being infatuated I can’t release my inner inhibitions. Don’t get me wrong these aren’t the eyes for deception I truly appreciate her in the daily with ambitious motives. Just unsure if I should let her know she’s the fantasy I tend to pretend not to offend but truly would like to live in.