Displacement

Girl you don’t know how lost I feel. When I get up I have to remember things aren’t as bad as they seem. I’m even scared to breathe. Find things funny and look at a mystery as if lucky. Forget the fake. Trying not to be so frail. Fate has it’s own intent I can’t read… Sure things fall apart and wither through friction over time, but that’s just the surface of things. You called yourself loyal yet whichever one began to stray, who knows...

Now we’ve become too distant to call out to each other in comfort. Upset at the insignificant I begin to recant the unreplied directives and consider it a rebuttal of silence. For a moment there was an underlying link without reason so raw and pure in nature everyone could see it as if children from the wild. Blindsided with an unpredictable silence, yet you kept publicizing your common thoughts and interest which cut deeper than a knife severing my nerves and whatever ties made over time. Getting you out of my head is unsettling and bittersweet to the palate. Cumbersome I ill of will. I’m filled with nothing but lethargic substances to make any moves and go out.

You called yourself a friend and I’m sorry for deciding to make a move removing me of this place I consider displacement. Don’t make this decision unforgiving for not letting you in on. Upset I kept locked away in my mind, but am I irrelevant even before I go…  Relaxing so not to stress and move out of the steady plateau I stand. Emotions not reassuring... My wavering, understood, it could be... A much needed recurring lesson on why everything feels that way it is and the way it should, without a doubt this moment is.

Looking at the same inert optimism as the fluctuating equilibrium I hold in the daily changes of tide. Feeling misplaced, I am...

See, what you don’t see is me speaking to myself. F**k you fake friend... Your presence held long enough to be kept for no more than just a number. I have more haters than the supporters in my accomplishments. A substance for my drive, keep them jealous. Another sadistic smile arises for my proud heart. Feeling ever lighter in my high because even less stay as I rise.

I’m right here in the now. How could I  like and still be repulsed by your apparition. Felt every urge to hold you in regret. I engrossed in your presence and dynamic contours. The day we met. I’ve always wanted to share the depths of dares. However you’ve always felt a distant gesture or some kind of jest that I could only get my hopes up in fantasy.

While others spoke of you I’ve had to hold my tongue in bitter disagreement and disappointment…. Is it that your time in this place was a fleeting experience that led to the easy going, legit, risk taking, and fading judgement of personality. I know of you having affection but not often directed and the times when, always indirect. 

But too bad you fucked around and now when I get up to leave you get frustrated of my displacement feelings. 

Don’t tell me we were more than just friends holding emotions always over run by somebody else. Opening are mouth so to speak but our breath just got taken away by unpredicted occurrences of strangers. Fleeting moments of minute men. For different reasons we frown because we both leave. I stray ahead, I know that wasn’t the plan. Momentary is our phase. You found out before I could join the ocean. Confronting, you don’t heed any signs. High is your romantic mist however tepid I follow.

Forever displaced I am. Oh, ghosts in my mind. Haunting apparition you flood me with waves of emotion. The light in my eye’s dim and suddenly it begins to pour outside. Another reflection added to memory like a raindrop joining a ocean. An accumulation of misplaced raindrops we all are.

As of lately drowning in moments of remembrance ever losing myself to nostalgia with age. Oh, how lost I've become from your displacement...