Nostalgic Clarity

I walked in and there was nothing as if I have done this thousands of times before

But as I looked up there she was in front of me passing by like the wind,

It’s not that I did not recognize her but a moment of suspension not of infatuation,

My heart did not rise while giving her recognition;

However she did slightly move in my direction and utter a sound of acknowledgement

Does this mean she has the emotions I wish to have for her, or am I simply rambling on in my mind to keep the little sanity I have left from the disparity of my loneliness.

Now I sit and there is a window; how ironic for me to stare out when all I want is for someone to not only recognize my existence, but me as a whole.

Acknowledgement in a manner that can lead to the repairment of this soul

I stare out but no one stares back

My the age of these eyes grow even more wary, day by day

Let there be a reason for me to smile even if it may feign in the end.

Why must when you speak tremors go rampant  through my body

Make uneasiness of this expanding heart,

Flowing rhythm and staccato moment’s moving the inner child of my heart

Down vibrato rising octaves playing to the wonderful jovial melodies repeating the exertion of euphoria.

It’s magical touch on the soul, blissful ecstasy hitting climax at every thud of my heart beat.

Silent acknowledgement how I rise, thoughts of repetition, your smile brief but everlasting.   

Only if I could see those eyes light up like the flames of candles,

I wish I knew you well so I could turn you on like a candle stick.

Six months have passed and we barely have said a word to each other.

I no longer feel excitement when I look at you, 

Nor do I feel your affection when you look at me for the first time of the day.

What do you want, what do you want from me?

What the hell do you want me to do? Excited I looked at her but only by relief I fluttered.

I was lonely and so was she; so I thought we could act as needs to our wants before they became despair.

Say to her “ You know how sometime's you go through a self intervention speaking to yourself to make clarity of the situation. 

Well for me that sometime took awhile. 

To speak to you before time and fate passed by fading the moment to hold you and to get to know you became a shadow of that vague reality.”

Single and appreciate it; petrified paroxysm of desire still squanders away today.

Enjoying the enticed onset of my drunken stupor.

Out for someone to numb the pain and handle this depressing state.

I come to see I need to indulge in every moment, even the lonely ones.

Eventually someone will recognize you and you’ll find yourself in a situation where you can’t be ignored

As long as you keep on moving. 

Work or die is the life you can live without honest lies when it hurts the most.

Let someone know you’re a human too

Come acknowledge and realize this tattered soul has been through to much to be alone.

The clarity of time passed all too nostalgic for tomorrow's yesterday for you to come and give me some.

Author's Note

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