A Vague Thought Remembered

Why do women always have a certain tiredness on their face. 

A stare as if something else carries on in the back of their mind aside from what’s happening right then.

Women can see from the back of their head, they not only see with their eye’s, but their mind too. 

I don’t know if I should be cool and play hard to get or be myself and be nice to you instead?

Am I the person who moves and then looks back or the person who keeps moving forward?

I am the person who moves forward and takes too long to look back,

Who would wait for me? 

Most people just move forward and if not then look back but then keep moving.

I am the kind of person who always attracts people but can never make them stay, it is so lonely to have them beside you but to never be let in.

I came here tonight for one reason

The possibility that I might run into her. 

In so doing I came across a mirage of people instead. 

What a weird night. 

We crossed each other I wanted to have control. 

She looked but how hard did she stare? 

She turned but I kept on moving, why did I not look back?

We crossed each other like two ships moving in the night.  

I stared but I did not look.

To start in the middle of a song is what I wanted

It’s everything I need to get things going.

I am too shy to begin things on my own

I need help despite my age.

I cannot perform what is expected of me

I need a friend,

Thinking of this brings upon a depressing feeling that I can not put down inside of me,

It must show. 

I must show it to cry out for mercy for someone to see.

I want to run

Just run 

This urge, the rush, this itch... it’s coming back. 

To run, to just run, to chase life, to live; to feel the wind run across my face 

For it to brush my hair without care,

To inhale till my chest can no longer expand to breathe out and forget everything.

How could of everything I thought meant so much to me end up being so weak in the end.

Not even a gesture was uttered.

Author's Note

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