Inbetween

One moment two hearts, 

Wait on the dial pad, I am pending to hear words of admiration, 

Wherever you are, I could look you in the eye’s, 

Your image floats in the air; hanging still like a painting

I want  you to tell me you miss me when I’m not around

I want you to call me whenever I feel alone

Whatever makes you happy where ever you are,

I want to let you know, I want you to know that you are special.  

I don’t deserve you, but maybe I can belong to you, 

Hopefully I’m not like the other hearts caught in a fish net waiting to be held by your hand.

I wish I was special.

Here on the ground,

I lay, feel the earth vibrating,

Hear the world move, 

I hate the beat,

That’s because there’s no rhythm that can make me vibrate like you do,

There’s nothing I want to think about, no, you just have me laying down  

Feeling like I am on the clouds above the sky.

When I met you in the summer the stars were bright and far...

Maybe if you remember the warm nights cool air 

Now who could of thought that we could be together? 

Sun blazed and star gazing, 

When we met in the summer.  

I want to have more tears of joy than of sadness, I want to laugh at the world and laugh with it.

Now, how can you smile when you see me so sad, 

How can you not see how hard I stare at you,

How can you begin to laugh when I cry? 

Maybe I shouldn't be so nice, 

Maybe I shouldn't care, 

Maybe I should be like the other guys you’ve met

Maybe I shouldn't treat you like a person, but an object of my possesion.

I am sorry baby, but this isn't going to work out 

This maybe the first and last time you’ll see the inside of me, 

For I fear that the next time you do I will not be the same person I was before.

How could of I wanted something I never knew,

How could I of cared for something I never had,

How could of I loved with a love so powerful? 

I am so young, but feel so old; I work all day just to throw it away in the night.

I no longer want to be me, but the man who cares of his joy. 

You don’t even try

How could I have fallen so hard for someone so hateful? 

I resent your deceiving eyes

I thought you were an angel 

A somewhat pure heart, 

but, no you sit on a pedestal.

I forget you realize that your somebody special and I am no one’s somebody.

I truly am nobody.

I can’t even think about you right now without getting my emotions all stirred up inside

Sometimes the silence just guides the mind to a place so far away...

How is it that we know more about each other than we knew of each other

The thought of your deceptions,

Oh, how I despise you 

but, you’re too f*****g special to go a day without you in mind. 

I’ve been played, I've been fooled, will I now be ridiculed?

It is only when you begin to read the stories of your life you realize that the majority was unnecessary and wasted time.

Sad and so far lived like a loser, 

but, although I can not go back and change the story,

I can at least wright the final chapters and end this story with a fleeting moment of joy and hopefully a discreet smile on the reader's face. 

As much as I liked and love her the hatred and loathing got deeper.

Is it that I have a terrible conscious, that is above law, morale, and principal?

As soon as I saw her smile the wound on my heart that I had worked so hard to mend began to bleed again.

Why must my heart be so heavy, can’t I love just once and be content. 

So tender I am, 

Tender is the heart

 

That is why while I am here in the clouds above the sky I don’t plan on falling for anyone. 

At times, I curse god for allowing me to love with so much passion,

My heart is wounded, 

If I were to allow anyone to mend my heart the opportunity to tear it even further would be there. 

Why is that the smallest things seem so far away? 

To reach out but have your hand thwarted down as if you are some kind of insect 

Ridiculed and humiliated, ashamed to be the man of your criticisms, to fall earnestly in love and then be shattered into a million pieces

Now, I have fallen into the depths of melancholy in a state of depravity and mourning

To have loved and been loved with a love like no other love is all I wanted. 

In sadness, in happiness, in extreme emotion is where I find my muse.

Author's Note

please give a review