ill make sure you remember me

when you hate someone so much that you love them even more

you shot me down

i fell on the ground

my heart wouldn't pound

baby

you buried me there

so no one would know where

and you didn't even care

baby

but now that I'm back

and you've made that anger crack

so you better start to pack

baby

ill burn your skin 

ill rip your soul

ill make you drown 

in your own black hole

but all i ever want

is to make sure 

that you remember me

baby

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

This is very good story. Bad tale turn to revenge of a sort.
" but all i ever want
is to make sure
that you remember me
baby"
very nice ending. I liked it. The story had the feel of song. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[yashmita13]

i unconsciously wrote it like that and realised later the point about that song. haha thanx

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Jenny]

LOVED IT! The second to last stanza was captivating and I would even say that it's the main reason why I liked the poem so much. And I really liked the repetition of "baby" at the end of each stanza. However, take the time to pick and choose where you rhyme, because it can diminish the character if your work if used incorrectly or at the wrong time.

[Chirag Kumar]

nice flow yashmita. loved it :)

[yashmita13]

thanks a lot

[Daisy]

awesome and great poem....... wonderful concept good job

[yashmita13]

thank you so much :D

[Lea Walker]

Wow...... that was...... Amazing! I love it!

[yashmita13]

thank you.

[Matthew James Ginn]

I adore the sudden change in the 3rd stanza lol. its like woah that escalated but very talented transition. I really like the concept of being remembered. That is a reoccurring desire for all of us. Dont forget my review baby :p

[yashmita13]

ill never forget it
baby
thanx for reviewing though

[Abhishekizy]

Astonishing read!! I don't say that to all the writes but this one possibly deserves it!! That's a sheer talent to make something as simple, so exciting. Adding 'baby' to every para's end did the trick for me. You make it sound sad yet sexy!

[Dolce7788]

Great poem, you can def feel your emotion through it!

[yashmita13]

yay! thank you

[Saddam]

you buried me there
so no one would know where
and you didn't even care.

So danger you are, but when you say
make sure
that you remember me,
that all the end. Great as a thinker.

[yashmita13]

thank you so much
i know i can be a little brutal sometimes