Describing a nightmare

Describing a nightmare

A Story by yashmita13
"

all i remember...

"

I felt paralyzed towards my whole body. It was like a lightning bolt, waiting to put me down at my weakest minute. I could see his sharp, icy eyes piercing through me every time I looked directly at him. It hurt. It felt like I was a pig on a medieval roasting spit. My whole body was sweating. I could hear them converse to each other. There were perhaps five of them or maybe more. Who knows? I couldn’t make out what they were saying. It sounded too foreign for my ears and my brain to pick up and recognize the language. I knew I had to get out of this sticky situation. I had too. Too much thinking of planning to flee was hurting my brain. I had to continue thinking. I could hear their conversation getting louder which meant that they coming closer than I actually thought. Their naive laughs rang in my head like a school bell, encouraging me to sort this situation out. Initially, I hesitated the fury inside me. Too strong to purely ignore. 
I look up; I can see the sky with floating blood drop clouds drifting by. I can smell burnt bodies of the unfortunate victims that got caught before me by the unknown figures. I can almost hear spirits of the dead bodies calling me to set them free. The atmosphere felt so tense and so dramatic, I couldn’t bear this feeling anymore. I was praying for freedom, I just wanted God to answer my call, I wanted him to realize how important this was.
That’s all I remember,  but its strange how just a nightmare could
ever seem so real…..

© 2013 yashmita13


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I can imagine a cult who terrorizes cities and worship devil. They burn their victims and asks for immortality as a reward. I can see tension and fear. But the contest asked for Mystery-Thriller with suspects, victims and investigation to make people guess who is the real culprit? "ill make sure you remember me" have the same problem though I like them very much.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Describe the setting more normally I can assume whats happening but I am sort of lost over all your an amazing writer just read it from someone else's point of view if that made sense

Posted 9 Years Ago


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Sam
This is really good. The description you put into it was really great.

Also, in the last sentence I think its should be it's instead.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"I had too" should be "I had to"

I can feel the tension building.

Even though this is a dream like excerpt, be sure to balance thoughts and visuals.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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499 Views
4 Reviews
Added on December 2, 2013
Last Updated on December 2, 2013

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yashmita13
yashmita13

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A system takes care of the detail work for you, freeing up your time and your mind so you can focus on activities that Generate Income. The last thing you need to worry about is all the detail work of.. more..

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