Gravestone

Once you love you never love again or so I thought....

Chapter One

One Less Soul

Feeling of pain,anguish, sorrow everything that keeps me from slipping away from this reality. A reality that cannot be fought against a wall indestructible from the inside. All the pushing I do keeps me from not giving up hope in this everlasting struggle. Four walls on each side pinning me and keeping me from reaching my goal, one that I think I have lost hope. I fear that once this goal in lost I will sink to the bottom of the ocean like a pebble lost in a river. Slowly this pebble fades away never to be seen again except in a state of dust. I do not want to lose to fate nor do I want to fade away.

To fade away and be lost nothing more than a lost soul. A wandering soul once lost looking for a way to live life. All that I ever wanted was to be loved and remembered once gone, but I was long forgotten. My grave covered by growing grass, untended for years that gradually passed by. It seemed that little by little I would notice passing people taking care of graves with tender love and care. It made me shed a little tear bringing unbearable pain. 

A young girl bent down and started to rip the grass that covered my grave. For a moment I was started and a another taken back. The grass pulled away leaving the imprint from the grave on it an imprint of two hands holding. 

"There you go; I hope you won't be forgotten again." The young girl whispered brushing the dirt from the grave. A pang hit my heart ever-so melting in a slight happiness one that I would never forget. I had never wanted to hug and thank someone so much in my life, yearning to reach out.

Mary Louise Bartush

1980-2005

In memory of a loving mother.

"Mary, good luck." with those words she left as quietly as she came. 

The sound of footsteps slowly fading away just like the years. Another year had passed and like that year, it wears on the young girls health. Her cheek flushed a soft pink shade and her hair in disarray. The wind blew with an icy cold breeze brushing every inch of skin goose bumps appearing.

"Marry I came to visit." She collapsed to the ground with a sudden slam shaking the ground where I laid in internal rest. "You won't..be lonely anymore." the edges of her lips curling up into a smile. "I won't be lonely." tears fell streaking her face breathing ragged with every inhale.

"Hey! you don't die." I yelled in a panic even though she could not see or hear me, it was all for nothing. When her breath had stopped my heart sank to my stomach I was too late. Yet I still tried to shake her it was like trying to wake a person in a coma. My hands slipped through her slipping and falling into her body swallowed by a strange darkness. I opened my eyes to a blue sky and a vivid dark red tree rustling with the wind overhead.

The wind blew and with it so did a warmth and belonging. No emotion was felt but that of ease, relaxation and pure happiness. It was like that final summer I spent with my husband on a bench together hands locked. With a slow beating of my heart in my chest cheeks flushed. Not a single regret but that of leaving my five year old child to him. A year later, he had also passed on but we never saw each other again.

"Do you want to save that child?" a voice echoed in the distance.

"Yes, please yes." I said with anguish in my voice for all I knew that child could be mine. Not once had I meet my child but birth taken away by a foster home never to be seen again. I did not even know the gender of the child it was as if it was never born. The guilt I felt in what bound me to this earthly prison.

"Then so be it." the voice bellowed. "There is no turning back." it added.

This time when I opened my eyes, I was meet with a frigged cold chilling my whole body to the bone. The sky covered in clouds rain falling like tears from the sky. I no longer sank into the ground when I stood I was once more solid.

"No this wasn't what I asked for."

Reviews

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so very nicely done, love the imagery so much. Detail is wonderful as well.