Chapter One- All Grown Up

This is the first chapter of the novel I am currently working on.

All Grown Up                                             Chapter 1

 

        I remember standing in the entry way of the home I had lived in all my life. I was so nervous, I was picking at my cuticles. I was wearing my favorite lavender shirt, which complimented my sandy blonde hair and blue eyes well. This was the moment we had all been praying for, and it had finally arrived. They had come home.

        They were Danny and Luke Daniels. Our families had at one time been inseparable. We had all grown up together from very young ages. We were all so glad the day we received the call from Kelly Daniels announcing that the Callaway- Daniels Clan would be reunited soon.

        I stood next to my two older brothers, waiting for the Daniels to make their way up our drive. It had been over a year since we’d seen each other. Dave and Kelly Daniels had separated, and Kelly decided to take the two boys back to Texas where her family was from. Dave and Kelly had worked things out recently, and here we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our long lost friends.

        My mother ran to open the front door, excited to see her friend Kelly once again. They embraced each other, and automatically began to chatter amongst themselves like always. My mother Ruth and Kelly made their way through the door first. “Oh’ my goodness Ruth, your boys have grown ten feet in the last year!” Kelly exclaimed with joy, as she grabbed my brothers one at a time and hugged them. Then she came to me. “Ruth! What happened to that little girl I last saw you with? Surely this isn’t her?” Kelly asked, as she stood in front of me looking me over. I blushed, and looked down. I didn’t think I had grown that much. “Oh’ Delaney! I’m glad to see there is some shyness left in the beautiful young lady you’re becoming.” Kelly explained, as she hugged me. “Thank you.” I replied, still looking down in my embarrassment.

        “Well Kelly, my boys aren’t the only ones who have grown!” My mother Ruth stated, as she welcomed Danny and Luke through the door. I looked up to see the face I had begun to forget in my memories. My mother was right; Danny and Luke had definitely both grown. Danny was the one who had my attention though, as he had since I was five years old. There was something about his light brown hair and green eyes that pulled me in.He was fifteen now, and he had changed significantly in the last year. Danny had grown more muscular and taller than before. His naturally tan skin was still as beautiful as I remembered.

        I began to feel the heat from my checks blushing, and had to look away. I look to my side to see my brother Cooper looking at me, smiling and slightly shaking his head no at me. “What?” I asked nervously, worried my reaction to seeing Danny again had become obvious to everyone around me. “Nothing…” Cooper replied, as he stepped forward to shake Luke’s hand.

        Cooper and Luke had been best of friends growing up. They were the same age of fourteen. They had everything in common, right down to their birth order. Cooper and I had been mistaken as twins often in our younger years. Now, he towered over me. We still had the same blonde hair and blue eyes though, a gift from our mother.

        Luke hadn’t changed, other than growing taller. He still had the same naturally tan skin as his brother Danny. That was about the only similarity the two brothers shared. Unlike Danny, Luke had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes also. I stared at Luke and Cooper talking as if they had never been apart. I was busy thinking of what to say when it came my turn with Danny. “Hey worm face!” Luke said jokingly, as he greeted me with a hug. “You never change do you Luke?” I asked, with a smile. “Neither do you… although others might feel differently!” Luke replied, as he looked over his shoulder at his brother. Danny being with in hearing range was obvious when he pushed Luke’s shoulder, nudging him around slightly.

        Danny had been greeting my oldest brother Jackson, whom he had been best friends with for years. As he made his way to Cooper, he had over heard what Luke had said to me. He finished greeting Cooper with a hand shake, before he came to stand in front of me. Cooper and Luke were already walking away to the other room talking to each other as they went. I now had no other option but to look up into his beautiful green eyes.

        Our eyes met, and there was the familiar tingling in my stomach that I had felt since the day we first met. The feeling my mother had told me for years I was too young to experience. “Hello Laney.” Danny said, as he hugged me gently. Our eyes met again, and there was his smile. “How are you Danny?” I asked, as I felt my checks flushing with warmth. His smile always seemed to bring a smile to my face. “It’s good to be back home Laney.” Danny replied, as I thought of how I loved to hear him say my name. Very few people called me Laney.

        “Laney, make sure to get your chores done while we’re gone. If your father comes home and finds out you skipped out on your chores again to go to a matinee with Julie we’re both in trouble.” My mother explained. “Yes Mam’ I will.” I replied, as I watched my mother gathering her purse to walk out the door. “Boys, Pizza should be here in a few minutes. No breaking anything while we’re gone!” My mother called behind her, as she walked out the door. “Best Behavior Boys!” Kelly said, as she turned to follow. It was just like old times. Our parents meeting for dinner, and leaving us all together. No baby sitters anymore, we were all finally old enough that we should be able to manage on our own.

        “Well, I’d guess I’d better get busy. I just got off restriction for not doing my chores, and I don’t want put back on it.” I said with a smile, as I walked away from Danny into the kitchen to do dishes. “Restriction huh’?” Danny asked, as he followed me. “Yeah, no phone calls and no friends for two weeks.” I replied, as I leaned up against the sink. I was surprised Danny had followed me, I expected him to go out on the back porch with the other guys. “Sounds like your Dad is still as tough on you as always?” Danny asked, as he leaned up against the tile counter tops across from me.

        I turned on the water, and began rinsing the dishes in front of me. “Yep, same old Dad.” I replied, as I rolled my eyes. “So, you’re still running around with Julie Downey huh’?” Danny asked, as he opened the dishwasher. I slowly stacked the plates in the next sink over. What is he doing? He’s never helped me do chores, I thought to myself. “Yeah, some things never change!” I replied, as I watched him pick up the plates and load them into the dishwasher.

        “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, as a grin came to his face. “Danny Daniels! You have never helped me do dishes in this lifetime, and I’m willing to bet you never helped your momma’ either…” I replied, with a hint of laughter in my voice. “That’s not true! When we were in Texas I had to help my momma’ a lot. She was working two jobs, so Luke and I had to help her around the house.” Danny explained, never making eye contact just continuing to load the dishes. “I bet that was hard on all of you huh’? I know it was hard being here, and not really knowing what was going to happen.” I said, hoping he would open up about what occurred between his parents. “Yeah’ it was… but it’s over now, and we’re home and that’s all that matters right?” Danny explained, as I turned the water off and sat the last glass in his sink. “Right.” I agreed, as he closed the dishwasher up.

        Danny leaned back against the counter, as I dried my hands on a dish towel. “You know, you’ve changed a lot in a year Laney.” Danny said, as I sat the dish towel down on the counter. I then leaned my back up against the counter across the small kitchen away from him. I was keeping my distance, because the closer we got to each other the stronger the butterflies in my stomach seemed to get. “Why does everyone keep saying that today?” I asked, as I blushed again slightly. “Because you have… you were just a shy, all elbows and knee caps girl when we left…” Danny explained, as I chuckled under my breath. He looked down, not knowing if he had said too much. “Well, you were a scrawny boy who pulled my hair and teased me… but you’ve changed too.” I replied, lightening the tension of the moment.

        Danny looked up at me with a grin, “You must be mistaken, that had to of been Luke!” He said jokingly. “You’re still shy though…” Danny said, as he began to step toward me. I felt my stomach begin to flutter not knowing what he was doing. “Like I said, some things never change…” I replied nervously, as Danny put one arm on each side of me inclosing me between him and the counter behind me. My heart began to beat so loud I was sure he could hear. I felt my face catch on fire, I was froze in fear of what to do.

        I could feel his warm breath upon my neck. “What are you doing?” I questioned in a whisper. Unsure weather it was for fear my brothers would hear and come running to my rescue, or weather it was all I could muster at the moment. Thoughts rushed through my mind as he whispered in my ear, “What I’ve wanted to do since I walked through that door today.” He answered. I could feel his warm breath on my ear now, causing the hair on my arms to rise.

Just then the doorbell rang. “Pizza! Pizza’s here!” I yelled, as I jumped so high at the startle of the bell leaving Danny no choice but to release me. Here came Copper, Luke, and Jackson running toward us from the back porch. Jackson grabbed the check off the counter my mother had left, and walked to the front door.

“There you are Danny?” Copper stated, as he and Luke pulled out their bar stools and sat down on the other side of the counter. I looked down as I tucked a strand of my blonde hair behind my ear. I made my way over to the cabinet past Danny to get some glasses for everyone’s drinks. “What would you guys like to drink?” I asked, as Jackson came around the corner with the pizza boxes in his hands. “Anything you have is fine.” Danny replied, with a grin still planted on his face. I don’t know what he took more joy in trying to kiss me, or seeing how flustered he could make me.

“Yes Laney, I’m sure anything you have will be fine.” Luke said with sarcasm in his voice, as if he had known the event that had just taken place in this kitchen. Luke and Cooper started laughing. My eyes grew large with embarrassment at the thought that they had been spying on us. “Guys that’s enough!” Jackson demanded. Jackson would turn sixteen in a couple of weeks, which made him the oldest. He knew his role of being in charge well. Plus, he had grown accustomed to stepping in to defend his best friend Danny over the years.

I sat in silence and listened to Danny and Luke’s stories about Texas as we all ate our pizza. I kept replaying the move Danny had attempted to make in the kitchen over and over in my head. I thought of how I wish I had reacted differently. It was what I had always wanted, I knew that someday Danny and I would fall in love and get married. My inner voice began to try to talk some sense into me. “Stop this Laney, he just tried to kiss you that’s it! Stop making a big deal out of nothing.” It screamed, as I stared off into space. “Hello! Earth to Laney?” Cooper asked, as he waved a hand in front of my face. “Sorry, what did you say?” I asked, as I rejoined my surroundings.

         “Are you going to watch the movie we rented or not?” Cooper asked, apparently for the second time unbenounced to me. “No, I had better finish my chores before Dad and Mom get home.” I replied, as I stood to remove the other remaining paper plates from the table. Apparantly while I was day dreaming Luke and Jackson had finished eating and made their way into the living room for the movie. Cooper turned to head that way. Danny took his last bite, and stood to throw his plate away.

“What all do you have left to do Cinderella?” Danny asked as we met in the kitchen doorway. “I still have to clean my room.” I stated, as I looked up at him. Unsure if he would let me by with out getting what he wanted earlier. “Well, unfortunately I can not help you there. If I’m not mistaken your Daddy has a strict rule about no boys being allowed in your room.” Danny replied, as he turned his body to the side to in able me to pass through. “You’re right.” I said, as I made my way quickly passed him.

 He grabbed my arm on the way by, stopping me from getting any further. “Hurry though. I’ll save you a seat next to me on the couch.” He replied, with his smile that made my stomach tingle. I felt my eyes grow larger again, unsure of what he was going to do. Danny chuckled, “Do I scare you?” He asked, still holding me by the arm and pulling me closer to him slowly. “No! You just… I don’t know… you make me nervous I guess…” I stammered, unsure of how to answer him. “Good.” He replied in almost a whisper, our faces a few inches from touching. He gently released my arm, and I slowly turned to walk around the corner to my room. “Hurry up.” He called, with a slight chuckle in his voice. “Shh! I will.” I called back to him in a loud whisper. Once to my room I focused on calming my racing heart. I had to contemplate what I would do next.

Author's Note

Please feel free to give comments or constructive critism. I would really love to know if it kept you interested so far, or is boring you out of your mind?

Reviews

[James Watts]

Not bad and it did not bore me at all. A little polish and you will have it. Only thing I noticed in places, and I will use examples, were unnecessary commas.

example: I was so nervous, I was picking at my cuticles.
example: Danny leaned back against the counter, as I dried my hands on a dish towel.

In both example no comma is needed as the sentences are clear without them.
Commas can be a writers downfall because we are so fond of them. I have been guilty of it more than a few times myself. Usually when I go over a rough draft and read out what I wrote I notice this and feel like an idiot.
Other than that this is a nice write and I say continue on with it.