the wall

So distinctly I recall, when I lived behind my wall,

and the pain of touching others never entered through my door.

Those past  foolish hopes and dreams and all my lofty plans and schemes

Had only left me sad and lonely, ‘till the day I said “No more!”

 

And the wall I built was stout, and it circled all about

every brick and stone I mortared with my sorrow  and my tears;

thus I learned to be alone, trusting in the strength of stone

and the wall would well have lasted all my empty, endless years.

 

But one dark and strange day came when I seemed to hear my name

being called by voices draped in laughter out beyond the wall

And for reasons still unknown, I left the safety of my stone

And my simple minded hope once more made possible my fall.

 

Smiles and laughter all around made me a fool who thought he’d found

Another  chance to grasp at happiness as life was rushing by;

But in the early evening breeze, like wraiths of mist among the trees,

Every face and voice had  faded = gone with no goodbye.

 

And as through the woods I ranged, I heard the echoed laughter change

The voices came again and  mocked me as I sought  to find my way;

Scrambling through the roseless briars sown by sweetly smiling liars

Back to the cold stone comfort by the gloom-blown break of day.

 

So again I’ve learned the way, no matter what the dreamers say,

For if you reach for love, you clutch a serpent to your breast

You’ll follow where the voices take you, one & all they will forsake you

And you’ll learn that sorrow is your home, until at last you rest

 

Beneath the gentle earth you’ll sleep. with not one promise left to keep

to those whose promises all left you lying broken and alone;

Then you’ll find the greatest treasure, freed from pain beyond your measure

And your suffering will end beneath the cold, protecting stone.

As my suffering will end beneath that cold protecting stone

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and as William Carlos Williams wrote in "the widow's lament in springtime"---
"Sorrow is my own yard, where the grass flames ...and with the cold fire" All surrounding her.
Sorrow does surround us doesn't it?
But if we become cold stone...like starbaby said..."a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries"---
Nice work.
j.

[Julian]

Awesome, thank you- your literary knowledge is quite impressive, and your perceptions very keen!!! Much appreciated!

[Starbaby]

I love the cadence and flow you've used here to create this darkness that sucks the reader into the vortex of suffering, despair and futility. I'm eerily reminded of the song I am a Rock, by S&G, a personal favourite.

[Julian]

thank you so much, and yes, I had forgotten the S&G song but now I remember the last lines.....a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.

[Stu. T.H.]

There are so many ways one could interpret this. This may come out wrong but exploring all such possibilities of what the truth to the work could be, or its variations is something I consider very fun doing. The air of mystery, lingering desires, the karmic chase of oneself-inflicted agony, and the bountiful cursing of others to fall into the same predicament as the person or creature speaking do well weaving up a chilling tale to read, especially if you let your imagination runs wild through the lyrics and rhymes.
Also, the tone does remind me of the work "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe, where the dreadfulness is as a dying pup dragging its way across a cold stone floor in silence... (A horrid mental picture)
This is a wonderful work in its own right and the work gives readers a soft chill running down their spine with the description of the psychological horrors it depicts.
Thank you for sharing, Julian!

[Julian]

Wow - your insights are most powerful and deep, and to even have a reminiscence of a work by Poe mentioned in any way is an honor beyond my imagining! Thank you so much.

[Julian]

I am actually a rather cheerful person, sometimes- but a lot of my writing over the years, does seem to have a mildly dark texture.