Journal Entry 10/26/2016

A Poem by Julia Ledo

This is honestly just yelling with some poetic license

Yeah I Know you freaking jerk
There are kill bill sirens in my head
And you like to set them off
"You're going to miss your chance"
"So be it"
And I cried all night long
And the voice you dont know about was f*****g delighted
SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING
THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER CHANCE
And my throat is collapsing
And on a scale of 1 to 10 my heart attack risk is 17 (straight from the clipboard)
And I want to throw up
And my face is on fire
AND THIS ISNT FUN ANYMORE.
Just because you can't get a f*****g date if your life depended on it
Doesn't mean I asked for your help
When I said go ahead
I was trying to call a bluff
And now I'm stuck in this push and pull
Of getting my hopes up
As if I have any choice in the matter.
My social anxiety is through the roof
Panic attacks dancing on the shingles
So please before you say another word
Shut the f**k up.
Please God please
... I really like this boy.
So let me suffer