Pray for me Pastor

Got this idea a while back, never wrote it down.

I've sat for this hour

Staring at my feet

Pray for me Pastor

Pray for me

And then you start

You say my name

And my heart leaps

God has given you something

To say to me

I have not told you

Anything that I need

Except praying upon praying

That you pray for me

And you begin 

My brother

As it has always been

And always will be

He is always talked about

Before it comes to me

It's been different lately

Instead of a rise

My entire body sinks

I tremble

then cry

I forget how to speak

I love him

Without reason or prompt

When before I had hated

With every piece of my heart

I love to listen to your prayers for him

And yet, selfishly, Pastor,

Pray for me Pastor

I suppose the lesson

You are trying to teach

Is that I have the voice

To pray, to speak

But my voice is inept

The words don't flow

In an endless stream

I never learned how

Prayers get caught in my throat

The catholic perfectionist

Hands folded, head down

The prayers in my brain

Have no way out

They tug at my heart

With every beat

And drip out my eyes

Slip down my cheeks

Part is my brother

But most is my doubt

You've said before

As I stand at the altar

The mic in my hand

"Go on, you pray good"

And I choke down a breath

As I recite a prayer 

I've written in my head

For what seems the fourth time

But by the time I sit

I remember only then

There was this thing 

I hadn't said

Pray for me Pastor

You call for anyone else

And I nearly raise my hand

You don't catch it

I didn't want that

We close out the night

People mill about

With my half raised hand

I wipe tears 

From the corners of my eyes

drying it

On jean clad thighs

My friends hug me

Seeing my face

Figuring it was

Just a move in this place

That put me in this sorry state

And I'm sat once again

Wallowing in doubt

I know that I shouldn't

I know that God cares

I know that He listens

I know that He's there

He knows every thought

See's each tear 

Hears me cry

But the worst part is

God knows I try.

Reviews

[Leeci]

Enjoyed reading,love the spiritual element to it. It makes us reflect, sometimes we dont have the strength or are not emotionally prepared to take it to God in prayer, that's when we need the strength and support of others to pray for us; when we're no longer able to tread on. I think this is what the poet is trying to capture

[_nymphofthecross_]

This poem creates such a poignant and compelling scene, it feels like it could be part of a series of poems for some reason. The line "pray for me pastor" is heartwrenching. Lovely.