Opened Eyes: Chapter 2

Opened Eyes

Later that night, after having safely arriving at my uncle's manor, I made my way from the stables onto the garden's gravely path. 

During the summer months, my aunt had the maids leave the sitting room's glass doors open to experience the outside without having to go outside. Coming upon it, I lay my fingers lightly against one of the misted panes of the glass door wishing I could go back to my shrouded  view and not see or hear what I had. I wished I had never left.

This night must have been ordained by God. Otherwise, how could I have ended up overhearing a private meeting in the woods when usually, I only rode my dragon, never stopping for a walk. Night riding was my one escape from a life that was slowly suffocating me. Funny, a light laugh escaped me as I dropped my hand from the pane, now it was my escape that was going to kill me. 

I continued into the sitting room with its stormy blue walls and airy white curtains. The wet stone and earthy perfume of the room normally soothed me. Tonight, however, I was inconsolable, but there was one method for ridding myself of the demons in my mind. I sought the consolation of the drawing table in the corner as though it were my only friend, and tonight maybe it was.

 

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Sometime later, I laid down my pencils and rested my chin on my hands.

Colors. All kinds of colors were splashed across the papers before me, revealing the civil war going on within. My fingers ached with the effort I'd put into the sketches scattered on my wooden writing table.  My troubles had soiled this table to its current worn out state, and my soul was yet again laid bare on its surface. But never before had the table witnessed such chaotic expressions of unholy dread. Dark, twisted images of men charging through the night crossed the paper into my mind chasing me, chasing me, forever chasing me and coming closer and closer until all was no more, and just one man stood out. 

Memories crawled in from the walls of the sitting room from the darkness outside. They wouldn't stay away. No matter how hard I clenched my eyes shut. No matter how long I sat here in the dark, they came. 

Unbidden, midnight memories wrapped around me, strangling me in their grip. I was back in my mind in the forest.

Even as a memory, my heart ached, and my bones shriveled within me,

and I had no words.

However, it wasn't his words that broke me. It was his voice. I'd know that voice anywhere. 

He was not supposed to be there.

Technically speaking, I had no parents. In place of them, my uncle and aunt had taken my brother and me in when we had no where to go. My brother was really all I had when they had sent him away to boarding school to "straighten him out". He had been my one defender and friend in an otherwise lonely world, and then I had no one. 

While he had been away, I would dream of him coming back to take me away from it all. All the condescending looks and barbed words that I had suffered and cruelty, he would save me from this one day. Save me from it all. Until then, I lived for the moments of escape to draw or to ride Lumin secretly at night.

Tristan. How could my brother be part of such a contemptible assortment of people? People so grossly obsessed with their own self-worth. How could he speak to any human the way he had to me tonight? What had happened to him?

Slowly I came back to myself, the sitting room, my drawings. I stared down at them beneath my bitterly cold fingers. None of my drawings could solve this perplexity. My eyes burned. Hands beginning to tremble, I spiritlessly crumbled the sketches. I compelled myself to focus.  

I had overheard many things. Their plans were not far along, but I pieced together that murder was involved. Their plans dripped with ploys of dirty politics. Many details were in their plans, but I couldn't count of them since I had been found out.

 

Tension began to leave my body. I knew what to do. Sort of. Tristan was my brother. Family helped each other even when it involved risking one's own life.  I must help free him, even if it meant freeing him from himself. Something must also be done with their horrible plans. Further investigation was needed. Running my hand through my hair, which I imagined must now resemble my earlier state of mind, a sigh fluttered from my slight frame.

I wanted to forget everything I had heard last night. Impossible. They would not stop looking for me, and I could never rest with my brother tethered to them. 

Voices from the hall disturbed my thoughts. It was time to get to my room and get dressed before people started wondering where I was and what I was doing. Maybe some breakfast would sort me out. I slowly stood up and began straightening my things.  

The sounds of maids scurrying about the manor and past the sitting room that I was hiding in comforted me with its familiarity. They would be lighting the fireplaces in all our rooms to fight off the morning chill. Everyone would be up in the next few hours.

The routine of the day seemed all too easy to escape into. Ironic since it seemed living death before. But it was a comfort if a deceptive sort of comfort. A comfort masking the ugliness of this world that had only just been revealed to me. My rosy world lay in pieces mixed with my shattered dreams.

Author's Note

Now this has had some subtracted from it and added to the first chapter. How does this transition? Also, should I work on the flow of my sentences? Some seen a little dull or something to me. What do you think?

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Your writing is technically correct, but as for the content, I don't see anything to distinguish this from the sort of generic fantasy story that you can find in any bookstore. There needs to be some kind of hook which will make things interesting for the audience and get them invested, and at present I don't see anything like that.

[Jules]

Thanks. I needed to hear that. Something was bugging me, and I couldn't put my finger on it. Now, I have a whole bunch of rethinking ahead of me. :)

[Jules]

I am trying to think whether to change drastically or just add a little more depth and thought. What do you think?

[Trigorin]

I think you're the only person who can come up with that. I think you really need to go unconventional - either make a really unusual, intricate setting, or come up with a different sort of stylistic hook.

[Constance Payne]

Write from your heart.

I enjoyed your story, "Technically speaking, I had no parents." I don't however care for this line. I would prefer to know why she had no parents.

[Night]

This is brilliant! Though you might want to add a bit to the 'chasing' part....:)

[Jules]

Yeah. I was wondering if I cut it too short. I am trying to decide whether to add more to chapter one on the chase scene or to add more in this chapter.
I am conflicted.