An Unfinished Romance

I dedicate this poem to the guy I fell in love with, and was in love with for three years and probably still am, while he's been completely oblivious to everything. Second attempt at poetry.

 

His face;

His voice;

he leaves me with no choice,

but to love him.

 

His smile;

His laugh;

We’ve been on the phone for quite a while,

and for every minute that passes,

my feelings for him grow, like an upward trended line graph.

 

His single kiss;

His soft touch;

I’m in a complete state of bliss,

until I remember that they don’t mean much,

for he doesn’t feel the same way for me, as I feel for him.

 

His mind;

His soul;

the word love redefined.

 

One night, he cut all ties;

I continued loving him, aware of his addiction.

He chose alchohol over me, his best friend.

 

His actions burned,

just like the vodka washing down his throat,

but I loved him still.

 

My heart still aches for him,

but his heart aches for two things only:

alchohol and pot.

 

I know him better than that.

It must be a state of confusion.

Lost in a dark world;

the world of stereotypical high school experiences.

 

His smell;

his eyes;

both things I recently despise.

They’re more saddening than hell.

His voice;

his laugh;

the raspy sound still yet to pass,

making me aware that he’s still lost.

 

His mind;

his soul;

taken over by a bowl.

 

I love him.

I hate him.

I'm lost in a world of confusion too.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this out of a sudden burst of anger towards him. It's probably not the best job in the world, but it helped me feel better.

Reviews

[Julienne Norris]

I felt the anger and the confusion that you have for "him". I love the off-beat structure it shows the emotion going from one thought to the next all coexisting in one burst. I have felt this torn and confused about love once or twice and that is when I feel the most inspiration. It sucks but it works. Great Job.

[runaway smile_<3]

I really like the format-and it's a good start, but I think if you keep working at it it would be really really great.
the part in the beginning, "His face;His voice;he leaves me with no choice,but to love you." I think you contradict yourself, because it says "he" and then "you". so who are you talking to/about? It gets confusing. Good job!

[Lyrical Love]

I loved the rhythm...like when you are at the theater and the orchestra's music changes and you
hear more kettle drums...feeding emotion to your heart causing it to race. I could feel your pain of being caged, or wounded like a bird with a broken wing...wanting to fly
feeling confused...not understanding how someone couldn't want to give you-what
you love giving them...YOU! It was like I could see you, and the anguish on your face... (great imagery)
Well written, especially considering the emotional duress.

[He@ther!]

This is such an awesome poem!!!:) I'm sorry about your situation, though:( But good poetry often comes from bad experiences, as is the case in this peice:) Good luck:) Lol and I hope you don't get any more "inspiration" for another poem about this, if you know what i mean;)
Great job:)

-Heather

[Enigma]

Wow! That was really intense. I got the hint that you were angry when you were writing this poem.
SECOND ATTEMPT!!
Can't believe it. It's such a fine piece of poetry. It obviously made you feel better because you've written it so beautifully. D-uh!
Oops! Sorry for being rude...
I loved the structure, the format and the whole concept of a teenage guy getting addicted to alcohol and ignoring his true love. It hurts to know that...
It's amazing!! Really... A stunning blend of sweet romance with raw anger...
Very well done!! Great job!! ...keep writing :)
(P.S. - I love your avatar!!)

[Kaitlyn]

Its really sad to think that people actually do choose drugs and drinking over the people that love them most. You're not alone, this has happened to me more times than one and it still hurts to think they could choose pot over you. This was a well written poem. I liked it alot. And the confusion added a nice spin. Good job!!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Great job!! I loved this poem, it stirred up a lot of emotoins in me, which a good poem should. First of all, I have felt that love before for a man (men) who didn't feel the same, or had and didn't anymore. it hurts worse than a knife. I also had a father who loved alcohol and drugs more than me, where he neglected his family, and soon his babies, me and my brother, were torn away from him, and he realized, too late, that he regretted ever putting his other babies first.

nice job, it is full of emotion and intensity, and written very smoothly. thanks for sharing.

"His actions burned,just like the vodka washing down his throat,but I loved him still."

GREAT LINE!!