No regrets II

“If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there's salvation in life. Even if you can't get together with that person.” ― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

You went upstairs. Five minutes later, I couldn't bear it anymore. If I left it this way I'd probably regret it for the rest of my life. I took off and turned left instead to the West tower. I got into the elevator and punched in 6. I came to 674. The corridor was so bright compared to my side. I didn't know where I found the courage. I knocked gently and you came out, surprised. My brother is inside. I know.

I looked at you for a while, it's now or never. I reached up to kiss you, arms around you. Really? You looked at me. Yes. You kissed me back tenderly. I love the way you kiss, our tongues intertwined and our lips danced smoothly. It wasn't any bit like a first kiss. Heck it was one of the best kiss I've ever had. You held me close and tight. You stroked my back and my hair. You smelled so good. I had to tip toe cuz you are so tall. Look, I respect you, I said. I respect me and I respect you, you pointed to yourself and then to me. We are friends, I assured you. Friends don't kiss, you said. Don't worry, nothing will happen. Pinky promise. We kissed again and looked into each others eyes. This felt so right.

You wanna come and know my brother? Sure. D was sleeping on the floor. I said hi to him and asked him why he didn't sleep on the bed. He said he was fine. We went into your bathroom. We kissed again. You said we should stop as I'm waking your thing up. I told you about the national anthem. We searched for it. You laughed. You showed me your perfumes. JM EP. You sprayed some onto my wrist. Oh it smelled so heavenly. I bought this, you showed me the AF you got. We looked into the mirror, arms around one another. Boy, do we look good together. 

Then you went around me and said it's time to go. I wanted to kiss you more. Don't worry, I only have one man and don't want to add more. I started at 28. You were shocked. Ouch! poor you! How about you? Um... 20. You looked into my eyes. I said I didn't wanna die without having done it. My mother had cancer. Which one did she have? Pancreatic. The same one as SJ? Yes. You looked into my eyes, held me close and kissed me again. I looked at your scar. It was fainter than I remembered. I glided my finger over the raised scar. You tried to explain. I know, I said.

You want me to send you back to your room? Yes. We held hands and went into the elevator. We quickly walked past the bar and went into the other elevator. You were trying to hide your tent. I shouldn't come in. Just for a little while, I said. I promise you nothing will happen.

You scooped me up in your arms and put me on my bed. Oh you're so strong. You came up to my left and we cuddled. I caressed your stubbly face, looked into your eyes and kissed you more. This felt so good. I touched your lips, your hair and your ears. You have such huge soft ears. I touched your face and kissed you again. We should stop. You said. Don't worry, nothing will happen. I promise. You planked on me. You were heavy. I couldn't breathe. I kissed you on top. What are you doing? Shh... sorry. You should be. But nothing will happen. I'll kick you out. I'm bigger than you. You don't understand men. Promise me we won't kiss again in future.

You couldn't resist anymore. You reached out your left arm and caressed my back as we kissed. I felt your hand touching my a*s through my dress. Oh, lefty. This felt so right. You groped my breasts and slowly moved your fingers to my crotch. Oh, P, I'm so wet for you.Kissing me, you touched my breasts again. Suddenly we were astride. You're dry humped me a few times while we were holding hands. Do you actually like me? I asked you again. We are friends. Tell me... I can only tell you we are friends. That's all we can do I guess. I laid on your right and rested my head to your chest, arms around each other and our legs intertwined. Playfully I touched your thing. It felt...long? I cuddled with you and stroked your face. Mmmm....It's OK. I had to go. I promise I won't avoid you. 

Reluctantly I sent you to the door. I tried to kiss you but you held your head up. I could only reach your neck since you're so tall. I kissed your neck. So much hair and so sexy. You said you just shaved and it all grew back. You held me tight and lifted me up one last time. You had to go. No more kiss, my thing doesn't go down. You gave me a peck on my forehead and held me tight. I put my arms around your neck, toes still tipping. I don't want this to end... 

I released your hands. You walked out the door and said see you in NY. See you in NY, P. Thank you for everything. I love you. I will always remember this night we shared.