it is said that nothing is right or wrong in love. at teenage, this is not exactly the same..any turn may go wrong..at this stage, what we feel like, is my motive, to show here.
Feeling of love,
is it wrong to love?
its a feeling that can bring,
paradise on earth;
but we have to hide,
is loving you a crime?
"No cuz we have to be good,
in our parent's eye."
Arent we mature?
I m 18, and you even more.
they think we are just kids,
and cant decide,
how to feel on our own?
"No, they think our good,
and dont want things to get puzzled,
but at this point,
they will misunderstand our love.
If you can wait,
for the right time , my dear.
I will get a degree, a decent job,
then i will propose you,
in front of all."
if they reject our love?
"No, they wont cuz they will know,
you are my princess, and believe me dear,
we will always be together. "
hey, its not a love poem..i want to ask something. you can say poem was a picture of the story going. i know you have lots of questions why i wrote this, or maybe what i was thinking. good..i m confused too. the poem i wrote, its common thought, but is it correct to hide? parents will not agree for this...and thats why we hide. what u think..is it the right choice?
answer in reviews. both positive and negative views are welcomed. :)
My Review
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Below are a few editions I made on misspelled words
In the most part I loved it
Feeling of love,
is it wrong to love?
its a feeling that can bring,
paradise on earth;
but we have to hide,
is loving you a crime?
"No cuz we have to be good,
in our parent's eye."
Aren't we mature?
(I'm)I m 18, and you even more.
they think we are just kids,
and cant decide,
how to feel on our own?
"No, they think our(we're) good,
and don't want things to get puzzled,
but at this point,
they will misunderstand our love.
If you can wait,
for the right time , my dear.
I will get a degree, a decent job,
then I will propose you,
in front of all."
if they reject our love?
"No, they wont cuz they will know,
you are my princess, and believe me dear,
we will always be together. "
Posted 10 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
thanks . i will correct it. anyways, that was your view on poem, have you read "aurthor's note" , i .. read morethanks . i will correct it. anyways, that was your view on poem, have you read "aurthor's note" , i asked a question. i hope you dont mind thinking about it a minute and texting a comment. :)
hey, btw "our good" means what is good for us. arent those words conveying the meaning?
10 Years Ago
hey, btw "our good" means what is good for us. arent those words conveying the meaning?
10 Years Ago
Do as you please. Don't let your parents get in the way.they don't know what your feelings are and t.. read moreDo as you please. Don't let your parents get in the way.they don't know what your feelings are and they can't know unless they are you. And they can't. So yes I think its right
Sorry to say. I didn't enjoy this poem.. sorry for that words. The only reason being you have the idea but the expression is way to stereotype.. keep writing, keep reading you will get there. Keep smiling
A very reliable thought with the eyes of a teen. Now it will bring the change.
I thought that it is very amazing piece of the day.
Loved it. Thanks for sharing this amazing piece.
Yes exactly dear I did conceal the matter when I was at my teen fearing they would stop my studies so.
I have passed teen still I can't take decision for this issue. Bcoz if everything is revealed don't know what parents will take a move, if not I feel like its betrying. Sorry no answer for this but I like the poem and its flow lovely.
I never believe everything is fair in love and war bcoz it may reach to the height of insanity and let them to kill themselves. No life is worth a futile path.
Sweep. I think love knows no bounds.. Speaking from experience I can say that I have let loves go because of disapproval for petty reasons.. Where I felt supporting was the key, they thought erasing was.. So this is something that you must ask your heart for only yours truly knows. :)
Nicely written Ayesha..I liked the obvious feelings and difficulties you have explained here.
Apart from this, it is always good to fall in love. But when you are a teenager, it is difficult for your parents to accept your relationship. Although everyone has different perspective about relationship, I would say it is ok to fall in love at any age, but never forget your priorities are your studies, career and parents right now.
Keep loving. Keep smiling :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
thanks a lot for advice. the idea and question were inspired by your "letter" to your future daughte.. read morethanks a lot for advice. the idea and question were inspired by your "letter" to your future daughter. so, thanks for the idea too. :)
the poem has the answer in itself, to fall in love is never a crime , but we all want to be good in our parents eye and we just wait for this right time to come to say about our love. Hardly very few agree to our choices.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
so, your answer goes with 'waiting for right time'. ok. thanks for review.
Being in love is always right but when you fell in love with a wrong person, love seems to be wrong, it is same as one try to sow seeds on a stone, the results are failure, Parents s fear for their wards are true as they dont wish wrong person in there life
good job and good question ayesha
Hi everyone. I m writing here as Ayesha Gupta (my pen-name). I m 18yr old. I m here to learn writing and to be friends with you all. I try to write which not neccessarily be 10/10
in your views, but i.. more..