your smile

we always have some friends who doesnt feel that excited and happy like us. this is dedicated for all those whose smile matters for their loved ones.

Why you are so upset? so depressed? so hurt?
It seems your eyes havent dreamt since long.
You are so dark, what you are hiding in your heart?
You looked like hurt by someone so deep.
Your eyes dont water, but the pain is crystal-clear.
I do not know, what you went through,
but its already past, its over dear.
Say something..cry, yell in grief!
dont hold these feelings inside deep.
I know you're strong, not someone weak,
your smile is my dream, make it real for me please.

Author's Note

feeling like doing someone for that depressed person. so, i wrote this. i hope you like it.

Reviews

[Happy hours]

be great rather than regret....very thoughtful poem...nice :)

[ayesha gupta]

thanks a lot. :)

[Elly]

I really like this :) It made me emotional because I can relate so much to this.

[ayesha gupta]

thanks elly. i am glad you liked it. :)

[Surya pradha]

a spirit raising poem. enjoyed it.

[ayesha gupta]

thanks a lot surya.

[Nikki]

Wow, just wow. Two thumbs up! :)

[ayesha gupta]

thankyou so much.

[Nikki]

You are most welcome. :)

[Sreenath]

great attempt but i find lot of mistakes my dear friend... in the line " looked like hurt by..." i think its should be look... i think you must replace eyes don't water with some other phrase..and "not someone weak.." don't you feel there's something wrong with that too ... very inspiring one but i think you need to re check it once again no offense just helping you out.. enjoyed reading it ... peace :)

[ayesha gupta]

thanx for review. i will work on your suggestions.

[RAOrourke]

Your eyes dont water, but the pain is crystal-clear...loved this line and know you're strong, not someone weak, your smile is my dream, make it real for me please..beautiful sentiment!! I think the last part of your poem, really flowed well where as the pacing in the beginning part was not as smooth. Overall I enjoyed this!!

[ayesha gupta]

thanks for your kind words. i m glad you liked it.

[stars are far]

wow, yeahthat was very sad and very heartfelt.. im sorry for that.. well done:)

[ayesha gupta]

thanx for your review

[The Black Warrior]

I lovvvvveeeeeee the last line! perfect way to end this profound and elegant poem.

"Your eyes dont water, but the pain is crystal-clear."

I like these lines above!

Con amor,

Suk

[ayesha gupta]

thanx a lot. i am glad you liked it

[Mayank]

I will say you are definitely doing a good work here.

[ayesha gupta]

thank a lot . i feel happy that think so. :)